#ALSO THE FACT THAT THERE'S LIKE AT LEAST 5 T WORD SCENES INVOLVING THESE TWO AUUGHHH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

0097linersb · 2 years ago

Text

Meddle About

Pairings: Haechan x Reader / Jeno x Reader (Briefly Mentioned)

Genre: Smut

Summary: Mark doesn’t think you or Haechan would have a problem with killing each other, not even bat an eye at it in fact.

Word count: 9.3k

A/N: Hey bitches, missed me? No, but fr, I´m sorry I suck Ik. Anyhow, this is a 2 parts series so hope u have fun, let me know what u think <3

Part 2

Mark found himself regretting his past decisions more often than not - Especially in times like these when he could barely hear his own thoughts over his friends’ loud discussion over the dumbest topic he had ever heard in all his 23 years on this Earth. Honestly, he should have predicted things would turn out this way when he decided to introduce his two best friends to each other, but he was naïve and believed that the two of you were long-lost soulmates separated at birth and he was doing God’s work by bringing you back together. Well, he had now figured out: It was a trap, and he was clearly being punished for thinking so highly of himself.

It’s not necessarily that you and Haechan hated each other, you wouldn’t even agree to be in the same room if that was the case, but it sure seemed like it. Also, if it ever came down to it, Mark doesn’t think either of you two would have a problem with killing the other, not even bat an eye at it in fact. He didn’t really understand the concept of your relationship, all he knew was that it wasn’t hate, but wasn’t really fondness either.

In the beginning, things were normal enough (or at least as normal as something can be when involving his friends); None of you liked sharing Mark’s attention and were constantly competing for his affection, bickering around like your bloodlines’ honors were on the line. Mark let you be because it wasn’t really hurting anyone and all the love, gifts and being dragged around were surely boosting his ego, but when things escalated to the point in which they are now, it suddenly became way too late to intervene and now he just had to put up with it.

If it weren´t for the consequences of his own choices.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you wouldn’t even make it to top 5,” You rolled your eyes before taking a sip from the drink you were holding.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, missing whatever new topic the conversation has progressed into.

“Because you think you would?” Haechan raised an eyebrow.

“I hate to admit it, but I actually think both of you would do well enough,” Renjun added, knowing better than to let you and Haechan hog the conversation and turn it into a fight. “Can’t say the same about Jisung and Jeno.”

“I won’t even try to defend myself,” Jisung pouted.

“Why me?” Jeno whined in confusion.

“Because you’re like a baby,” Haechan explained. “If Jaemin isn’t there to feed you, you’ll starve.”

“You think you’re hot shit but I put you in the “first one to die” position instead of Jisung,” You pointed at Haechan, not done with the discussion yet and ready to defend Jeno. “You’d attract zombies in a second with your loud ass.”

Oh, so that’s what this is about.

It seemed innocent enough, right?

Wrong.

Somehow, the simple discussion of who would survive the longest during a zombie apocalypse ended with a broken tabletop and a completely speechless Chenle (which was a first) watching his two friends trying to prove who was stronger.

"I'll pay for it," You and Haechan turned to Mark at the same time, getting back to the discussion in a millisecond like nothing had happened.

Mark really liked his table, but honestly, he was too dumbfounded at the scene unfolding in front of him to complain.

Just another normal Friday night.

Well, if you and Haechan didn't quite get along well, with his other friends it was pretty clear where you stood - and it was normally right next to Jeno, but no one talked about that for the sake of the group. Mark knows the two of you hook up sometimes, but he doesn't think it ever got past some heavy making out and he was fine with that, it probably wouldn’t escalate much past that.

"How was the date with San?" He heard Jeno silently ask you.

"It went well enough," You shrugged. "He's handsome, really nice and a gentleman."

"Oh, so no sex, huh?"

Funny enough, the whole room decided to go quiet at that exact moment.

"Who's not having sex?" Haechan excitedly asked, securing his “gossip king” status.

"You. Ever," You groan, finishing yet another drink. Mark noticed you often resorted to alcohol whenever around Haechan.

"I'm not the one looking like I haven't known what real joy feels like in years."

"Weren't you taking a break anyways?" Mark asked you before you could retort, figuring that he might as well just join in now that your sex life was out in the open.

"From sex?" Jisung asked in confusion and you nodded.

"So no bitches?" Haechan joked with a smirk on his face.

"Stop projecting, makes you look insecure."

"Why would you do that?" Jisung returned to the original topic in a hurry, like the idea of choosing to not have sex would never ever once cross his mind.

Cute.

"Not intending to shit on your gender but gladly doing so, men kind of suck. After many frustrated nights, I decided I could take better care of myself," You shrugged once again, pinching Jisung's cheek and cooing when he blushed at the mention of self-pleasuring.

"Pff, you just have bad judgment," Haechan scoffed.

"And I judge by your tone that you think you're an exception?"

"Never had a complaint."

"And you think that's something to brag about?"

"No, but my dick sure is."

"Ew," Everyone's face contorted at the same time - minus Mark's, who was used to Haechan's crude humor and Chenle's, who actually thought his joke was funny.

You pretended to throw up at the thought and Jeno handed you another can out of habit, which you promptly opened and drank for the exact same reason. Mark felt kind of jealous at how close the two of you had gotten but he blamed it on the vodka, deep down he knew he wasn’t going to be replaced as your best friend.

"Haechan's always bragging about being a sex god or something, but I've never actually seen him with a woman," Jaemin poked.

"Now you're just lying."

He was right, you all saw Haechan at the club: A different girl in his arms each time he came around.

"No, I mean I´ve never seen you bringing anyone over after a party."

"Why would I bring a girl over to a house full of dudes?"

He did have a point.

"I call bullshit," Chenle agreed.

"You guys seriously never noticed my absence?" He asked in shock, looking kind of upset.

"You're always here in the morning," Mark shrugs.

"Because it's called a one-night stand."

"Oh, what a playboy," You roll your eyes with sarcasm. "Poor girls wake up hating themselves for their choices and you're here all proud of yourself."

"I'm not bragging, it's a mutual agreement!"

"He's right," Jeno agrees.

"Thank you, Je-"

"But he's still all bark and no bite."

"What are we even talking about? This isn't about me! This is about Y/N and her incapability to orgasm."

"You made it about you!" You shout in exasperation. "And like I said, I do a pretty good job on my own."

"Ok no, but seriously, how long do you usually take to finish yourself off?" Haechan asked.

Mark will blame his friend's behavior on the vodka too.

The two empty bottles on the floor were suddenly speaking volumes. This was supposed to be a little warm-up before a night out so everyone would spend less at the club and now here were his friends, talking about masturbation like they were discussing the weather.

"I don't time it?" You look at him like he was stupid - which you knew he wasn't, thanks to the monthly trivia games where the two of you competed against each other.

It wasn't a trivia night without one of you being kicked out of the bar.

Thankfully, you were friends with the staff, so you were always allowed to come back the next time as if nothing had happened - It was a vicious cycle.

"I bet at least one of us here can get you there faster," Haechan suddenly smirked and Mark would honestly pay to be able to see everyone's reaction again.

Jeno simply widened his eyes in pure shock at his friend's absurdity, Jaemin literally screeched while Jisung somehow managed to fall from the couch. Even you, who was never affected by any of Haechan's antics were rendered quiet as Mark choked on his drink.

That’s it, Mark was going to hide the half-empty vodka bottle in front of him.

"Bro, leave me o-"

"What's in it for me?" You asked right when everyone had started recovering from the shock, the room going absolutely dead quiet when people realized neither of you were joking.

Jisung looked like he was about to pass out.

"My entire PC set up."

Wow.

"Pretty high prize considering you're not even willing to bet on yourself," You commented.

Suddenly everyone forgot they were never supposed to let the two of you exchange more than a few words with each other without meddling in, silence still looming over the room.

"I just trust my friends," He shrugs. "Also, wanted to give you an option, but I most definitely meant me."

"So your little bet would technically require me to have sex with you?" You squinted, trying to gather if the man in front of you had gone absolutely crazy.

"Precisely. And if you lose-"

"It won't come to it."

Honestly, everyone in the room would pay to see Haechan be humiliated.

"Add your Balenciaga hoodie to the equation and I'm in," You agreed, absolutely stupefying everyone.

Haechan gasped at the mention of his precious item of clothing, the one he had spent years saving to be able to afford, the one he searched all around the world for, the one he barely wore twice on really special occasions.

"Fine," He groaned in between his teeth.

It was never like the two of you to back down from a challenge.

"When?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Tonight."

"I'll need to get way drunker for that."

"You're already drunk, shut up. So, here's what's going to happen: Before the party you're going to go somewhere and do your thing so we can time it," Haechan started explaining and honestly, someone could throw a ticking grenade in the middle of the room at that moment and no one would even notice.

"So like, right now?"

"Yeah. And next time we can arrange for the second part of the deal."

"Fucking you," You nodded in acknowledgment. "I can go two times in a row."

"No, that would be unfair."

He was right.

"If you say so," You shrugged.

"We want to bet too!" Chenle interrupted, coming back to life.

“What would you even get from it?” You asked confusedly.

“Just seeing Haechan swallow his ego is fulfilling enough,” Chenle explained and that was enough reasoning for you, so you nodded in agreement and Haechan rolled his eyes at his friend’s words but agreed anyways. “Also, if we bet money, whoever wins gets to keep half of the money while you keep the other half.”

“40%,” You interrupt.

“45.”

“Not up for discussion,” You conclude as you took another shot.

“Why is everyone simply assuming she will win?” Haechan asked, looking heavily offended.

Everyone mutually decided to ignore him and started screaming how much they would bet and how much time they thought Haechan would take to get you there, the starting point at $150.

Easy money.

You were so entertained by how much cash you´d be making that it didn´t dawn on you what you would actually have to do for it until Donghyuck looked at you expectantly, “So, shall we begin?”

Your body suddenly froze at the realization, like you weren´t literally the one who decided to take his joke too seriously and started this whole thing, “Ri-right now?”

All eyes were on you, even Mark who was normally sensitive to your discomfort seemed to be edging you on.

“Are we sure we need to do this when everyone is around?” You asked, not recognizing if you had alcohol enough in you to be comfortable with masturbating in your room, knowing everyone was right outside and aware of what you were doing.

“Positive.”

“I´m-”

“C´mon, it´s a natural thing. Everyone does it,” Jaemin raised his fist in the air to show support. “Jisung here takes 50 minutes in the shower every day and no one looks down on him for it.”

That earned him a punch from a very red-looking Jisung but Jaemin seemed to enjoy his friend´s discomfort.

“Look who´s all bark and no bite now,” Haechan teased, seeming really pleased with himself.

“Fuck off, give me 10 minutes to try and down this whole bottle,” You took a deep breath, grabbing the half-full vodka from the center.

“I´ll give you 2,” Haechan concluded and you glared at him but accepted what you could get.

Ultimately, you ended up having another 2 shots before everyone started rushing you. Adding that to all the alcohol you already had in your system, resulted to an amount that was enough to, at least, get your inhibitions lowered. Jaemin was right, everyone there did it, it was nothing to be ashamed over.

“Okay, I´m ready,” You muttered the courage before standing up to the sound of your friends 'cheers, phone in hand to hold your part of the deal and time how long you took to get yourself there. You were turning the knob of your door to enter your room when you noticed Haechan standing right behind you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I´m the referee,” He answered and you noticed he indeed had his phone unlocked on the timer app.

“The hell you are.”

“Look, how will I know you´re not cheating?”

“Can´t you just trust my word?”

“Ha. Funny.”

“No, absolutely not. This isn´t what I signed up for.”

“Actually this is exactly what you signed up for.”

“He´s right,” Renjun mumbled before looking down when you glared at him.

“Can´t we have Jeno do it?” You asked, clearly exasperated at the thought of Haehcan there. In your room. Watching you pleasure yourself.

“We all know he´d lie for you.”

“Ok, so literally anyone else.”

“They all bet in your favor, so no. It´s either me, everyone or deal´s off.”

You two exchanged heated looks, a smirk on his face that read a clear “I knew you´d back down”. You felt your body burning in anger (and anxiety), knowing you couldn´t give him the satisfaction of winning - Also, there were over a thousand bucks in it for you.

“Okay,” You said between gritted teeth.

How have things gotten to this point?

Haechan smiled at that and pushed you aside to open the door himself, signaling inside as you begrudgingly took a step into your own room.

“Make yourself comfortable, sweetie,” He winked as you passed by him.

“Just don´t take too long,” Mark screamed as Haechan started closing the door. “Clubs are about to open.”

With crossed arms you made your way to the bed as the man sat comfortably in your desk chair, manspreading without a care in the world.

“This is fucked up,” You informed him, awkwardly sitting on the edge of your own bed.

“C´mon, tell me when I can start timing it.”

“Wait, stupid. It´s kind of hard to get in the mood with you there.”

“I can dirty talk if you´d like.”

“Oh my god, please never say anything remotely similar to that ever again.”

“Suit yourself.”

You took a minute to give yourself a pep talk before quickly making your way under the covers before your rational side got you to give up.

“What do you think you´re doing?” Haechan raised an eyebrow at you, looking at his cuticles like there wasn´t someone just about to freaking masturbate in front of him.

“You didn´t honestly think I´d just touch myself on full display for you, did you?”

“Well, yeah. How will I know you´re really doing it?”

“I know you´ve never seen a woman feeling real pleasure before but I can assure you that you´ll be able to tell,” You rolled your eyes.

He sighed but accepted, “Ok, let´s get this going, today preferably.”

You had barely finished rolling your eyes for the first time before doing it again but decided it was easier to just go along with it and get it over with sooner than later. You carefully laid down and pulled your skirt up, still a bit too tense to move your panties.

“Can I start timing it?”

“No, give me a second to at least get somewhat close to wet,” You groaned.

“Absolutely not. When we fuck, it will start counting the second we start going, no matter if you´re already turned on or not.”

“As if I would get turned out.”

“You´d be surprised,” He smirked. “Can you turn your body a bit to the side so I can see your face, at least?”

“You´re getting a kick out of this, aren´t you?” You groaned but obliged. “Perv.”

“You´re hot but too annoying for me, don´t worry. My matters here are strictly professional. I´m going to start the counter, do your thing or not, your choice.”

“Can we at least put some music on so I don´t have to hear your breathing?”

“No. It´s rolling,” He informed you, turning his phone screen towards you so you could see the numbers changing.

You took a deep frustrated breath and closed your eyes, trying to pretend Haechan wasn´t there before letting nervous fingers slide down your body, realization finally hitting that you were indeed doing it. You could feel your heart beating fast, the loud rushing of your blood leaving you deaf to everything around and the alcohol having your mind spinning in the dark. It was useless, there was no possible way you could get into it in this situation. Even your drunk brain was on high alert.

You weren´t a prude by no means, you were literally kind of messing around with one of the guys right outside, but you never had anyone watching you touch yourself before, especially not someone you had close to no intimacy with – Or someone you weren´t sure you even liked as a person, to begin with.

After ordering your shaky fingers to pull your panties to the side, you were highly surprised to find them coming back slick, a small gasp leaving your lips when you brushed your sensitive lips.

Ok, well. This was unexpected.

You opened your eyes and noticed Haechan´s ears did perk up at the sound you let out, but you closed them back down before sparing it any thought. The bet was on. You knew your body and you had already finished yourself off in less than half a minute before, it was no trouble. You can do it. Now that you were already there and Haechan had already seen everything he was going to see, you forced yourself to get over him being there for the moment, focused on winning the bet.

You touched yourself how you normally would minus the teasing part, you meant business after all. But for some reason, having Haechan there watching you, got your feelings heightened, your body and everything you touched sending stronger than usual waves of pleasure up your skin. Maybe you just discovered yourself as an exhibitionist, maybe you suddenly just got really horny or maybe the anxiety got your body feeling more sensitive, attentive to every feeling.

At first, you manage to hide your sounds by harshly biting down on your lip – even though there wasn´t much to do about your twisting body – but the moment you decided to open your eyes again and met Haechan´s right when you eased your middle finger inside of you, the look on his face was enough to get you to drop your lip and accidentally let out a moan as you looked straight into his eyes. You widened your eyes in embarrassment, praying to all higher powers that he didn´t read into the look enough to realize he was the reason for your sudden moan.

You used your now slicker finger to rub circles against your clit, trying to ignore your body´s pleas to look at Haechan again. You got close so quickly and your fogged up in pleasure brain didn´t have a care anymore, allowing your head to turn over as you took another peek at the man sitting on your chair.

“Oh my god,” You gasped, adverting your gaze to the ceiling before you could literally cum while locking eyes with the man in front of you, mental images of his very apparent bulge and tightly fisted hands flashing in your head. You couldn´t believe your hormones got you to actually think Haechan was attractive and get off to the thought of him, but it was true, and no one needed to know. You didn´t care he was watching anymore, in fact, you loved it, and to know this was getting to him too, might have influenced on your sudden need to put on a bit of a show. So, you watched with your side-view as he grabbed the fabric of his pants and bunched it up on top of his thick thigh and you just let it go, a loud moan leaving your mouth as your body shook in explosive pleasure.

Realization soon dawned upon you after getting down from your high, so you closed your eyes again to try and recompose yourself before, while breathing hard, managing to let out a “done.”

“Already stopped counting,” Haechan informed, his voice sounded so raw that your whole body urged you to open your eyes and look at him, but you didn´t. In shame, you fixed your panties and skirt before trying to get up. In half a second, Haechan was at your side helping you stand, his touch burning everywhere his hands laid upon.

“So, had fun?” You tried to joke in a shaky voice as you patted your hair down and he held you up, but your awkward laugh was enough to show there was no lightness in the air between you two at that moment.

“5 stars rating,” He returned your tense laugh. “I´ll give you some time.”

You nodded in agreement and thanked him (for the first time ever, mind you) before you were left alone in your room. You walked in wobbly legs over to the mirror and finished fixing yourself up, retouching some parts of your makeup for the club before taking a deep breath to prepare yourself to head out, trying to not think about what just happened so you could remain sane.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Chenle asked in excitement the minute you stepped out of your room.

Good, no time to be awkward then.

“4 minutes and 27 seconds,” Haechan proudly showed his phone screen with the paused timer on it. Guess he thought that was an easy score to beat.

“I thought you´d be quicker,” Chenle complained.

You widened your eyes at him in disbelief, “Try doing anything with Donghyuck watching you!”

“Says the girl who was moaning like a whore 2 minutes ago,” Haechan threw it at you and although he meant for it to bother you, it just got you to sigh in relief that everything was back to normal again, those 40 ending seconds inside the room where you two were being somewhat nice to each other got you feeling uneasy. Like this, you could go back to kind of disliking each other and never having to be reminded of those two quick minutes when Haechan seemed like the hottest male in the world to you.

Except it wasn´t like that. Even with you doing an amazing job at hiding it and acting normally, the man managed to get to you. Somehow, having him hungrily watch you as you fell apart, opened your eyes to the fact that Haechan was in fact very attractive. But you´ll be caught dead before admitting that to anyone.

So, after failing to not stare at Haechan, washing your hands and finishing all the alcohol Mark and Jaemin had brought, you were all heading downtown to find a club that looked fun. On your way there, the boys bumped into two of their friends, who told you about this new place that had recently opened and seemed like a good time. Plus, they were offering free welcome shots to everyone who came in, so it didn´t take much convincing for your group to join Jaehyun and Johnny on their way to the new club. The place was full but thankfully, for some reason, Johnny was a VIP and got you all inside without having to stay in line.

After paying the entrance fee and downing the free tequila the 10 of you got, you handed your id and cellphone to Jeno, who always kept them for you so you could freely dance without being bothered or having to take care of it. Your group was quick to find a spot on the dance floor, after all, your friends were all pretty hot and people tend to make way for attractive guys.

Johnny took your hand and pulled you to dance with him and you gladly did so. You loved Johnny, he was genuinely a nice guy and you always had so much fun when with him, he was one of the few men who you felt safe around and who had never tried anything with you, he was glad just being friends and you adored him for it. You only ever met occasionally during parties or group hangouts, but you were happy every single time you two crossed paths.

Colorful lights flashed around the dark room, you could feel the AC booming to keep the place cool and you were thankful to not leave the club drowning in sweat for once. Your drunk brain watched in awe as the lasers formed intricate shapes over your head and you laughed loudly at a dancing Johnny before you joined in, moving to the 2000’s hit. After a few songs, Jaehyun handed you a drink and you excitedly thanked him. The two of you had hooked up three or four times during random parties in the past, but nothing ever came out of it and you were both comfortable with that, if it happens it happens and if it doesn´t, it doesn´t. No pressure.

He smiled at you and winked with no second intentions, as to say “you´re welcome” before going back to the table where some of the boys were sitting down. You could spot Jeno, who smiled at you, next to Jisung and Mark, the rest of your group scattered around the club – probably hitting on some girls. When a song you didn´t like much came on, you told Johnny you´d go rest for a bit and made your way to the table against the wall where your friends were passionately playing some word game.

“Wow,” You laughed loudly at the way everything was spinning when you threw yourself on the couch circling the table.

Jeno laughed and patted your head fondly when you managed to slide yourself to his side, quick to join in on the game so you could continue to ignore you were horny and kind of having a mental breakdown.

“Sky starts with an S, idiot,” Mark pointed at you, laughing at your slip.

“Oh, shit.”

“Drink up.”

You took a big sip from Jeno’s rum and coke, already past the point of taking more shots. When you pushed the glass back towards Jeno and looked up, Haechan stood there in front of the table, surprisingly no girl in his arms.

“Lost your game, big head?” You curiously teased.

“Something like that,” He winked with a small smile, sliding himself in the booth until he was next to you, even your drunk brain noticing when his jeans-clad thigh touched your bare one. “What are we playing?”

“C nor S,” Jaemin excitedly replied. “I´ll start: Photography.”

“Memory,” Mark continued.

“Family,” Jeno added before it was your turn.

Except you were too busy being in shock at the way Haechan´s palm found the top of your thigh to think about a word related to family that didn´t start with a C nor S in 2 seconds and was obliged to drink again. But the even bigger shock, was that you didn´t find yourself glaring at the man next to you or asking what the fuck did he think he was doing – and at that, you finished Jeno’s drink for him because there´s no way you could accept that you actually enjoyed Haechan´s touch.

After another round, Jaemin spotted a girl to his interest and left with Jaehyun, leaving the remaining boys to start a conversation, like normal people for once. Haechan must have noticed your lack of complaints over his hand on you, because as you were busy paying attention to whatever the guys were discussing, you felt his fingers start tracing shapes against your skin, making your whole body tense. You pretended to not notice it, although it was pretty clear if he had eyes that you did, even after you forced yourself to relax.

With the side of your eyes, you saw an amused look on Haechan’s face as he joined in on the discussion like nothing was going on, like you weren’t twitching at every change of speed or pattern of the tip of his fingers on your thigh. Under ordinary circumstances, that would be a normal occurrence and it would have absolutely no effect on you, already being used to the whole flirting scheme, but that was Haechan touching you and before today, the thought of it happening never once even came close to crossing your mind – You barely ever talked to the guy when the others weren’t around for fuck’s sake. The chat on your phone with Haechan consisted of months-old messages saying things along the lines of “Mark´s going out with me this Wednesday, fuck off” or “Donghyuck, you bitch. I told you 4 fucking times that I was taking Mark to watch Thor.” If you scrolled up and read all the texts you ever sent each other, the nicest thing there, would be a “Just got that M-16 skin you won´t fucking shut up about, sent it to u to see if u get motivated to play at least somewhat decently.”

You knew how to read people, that´s why you started your thing with Jeno in the first place, just by looking at him you knew he was interested – So, with a bat of your eyes he came running like you knew he would. You could see how Jaemin would never take an advance towards you because of Jeno, but he wasn´t going to deny you in case you made a move either. You were aware that Mark and Chenle would laugh to the point of tears in front of your face if you ever tried something and that Jisung would rush to any opportunity you presented him with. In short, you were aware of everything that happened around you and where you stood with each person in the room, it has always been clear that Haechan took no interest in you, so, to say you were surprised by him suddenly touching you like that, was downplaying it a bit.

The bastard knew he was getting to you by the way goosebumps were rushing up your skin and with a smirk on his face, he let his hand slide down to the inner part of your thigh, where he gave a firm squeeze causing you to violently jump. You earned funny looks from your friends but they ruled it out as you being drunk and didn´t spare any thoughts - It´s not like Haechan was trying to hide anything either, to be honest.

“Jisung straight up called my senior stupid,” Mark was groaning when you tuned back into the conversation, doing your best to try and ignore Haechan.

“And the funny part is that we all know he didn´t even mean it like that,” Chenle laughed.

It was when you felt Donghyuck´s fingers lightly tracing their way up through the most sensitive part of your thigh that you decided enough was enough – Because honestly, you didn´t think you could take it. You harshly grabbed his hand and pushed him out of the boot, dragging him to the bar with the excuse of getting Jeno another drink.

“Listen, I know you got to watch me touch myself and all, but we´re not gonna fuck,” You told him in a hushed tone after ordering your drinks.

“Actually, we are,” He simply smirked at you.

You rolled your eyes in frustration, “Yeah, I know. I mean besides the one time for the bet.”

“Don´t worry, princess. You look good in that skirt, by the way.”

“Don´t change the subject.”

“Wanna keep talking about us fucking then? Awn, are you that excited?”

“I think you´re the one who´s excited.”

“I really am.”

“Was starting to think I´m not your type after the hundred times you told me that,” You rolled your eyes again.

“You managed to convince me.”

“Oh no, does that mean you´re gonna start hitting on me now?”

“Do I have to?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Please don´t, you’re already disgusting enough normally. Let´s go back to whatever we had going on before, yeah?”

“Sure,” Haechan said with a serious face, suddenly looking behind you like he was searching for someone. “Just help me out with something first please.”

Giving you no time to process, he grabbed your hand and pulled you confidently towards whoever he had seemed to find, allowing you no reaction other than to dumbly be dragged by him, “Donghyuck, the drinks-”

“It won´t take long,” He assured you, not even looking back as you glanced worriedly at the bar.

You assumed Haechan wanted your help to pick up a girl, although you couldn´t imagine how you could possibly be helpful since you don´t have a single nice thing to say about him. But if that´s what it took for him to stop testing your willpower, you would make up the most flattering lies one could elaborate - He´s so nice and caring, he donated me a kidney without thinking twice. And that was only three days after he stopped a moving bus with his pure strength to keep it from running over a sweet old lady.

It was only when you found yourself entering a dark hallway that you realized he probably wasn´t after a girl, but you didn´t have much time to process that before he was pushing your back against the wall. You simply looked at him in confusion and he literally stared back at you in silence, his face illuminated by the emergency lights.

“So?” You asked, not having to scream since the music wasn´t as loud in there. “You look good in that skirt.”

“You´ve already said that.”

“Yeah, but you´re still looking good in it.”

“Donghyuck, are you trying to hit on me? ‘Cause you´re not doing a very good job.”

“I´m not sure I am,” He furrowed his eyebrows in thought before looking at you confidently, his left hand against the wall over your right shoulder. “No, I definitely am.”

“Please tell me this isn´t how you managed to get so many girls-”

“No, of course not. I´m just weirded out because it´s you.”

“By the look of disgust on your face, I won´t assume that was supposed to sound flattering.”

“I´m surprised myself.”

“Why the sudden interest? Stop it, I don´t like it.”

“I may have realized you´re actually hot enough to make up for your annoying personality.”

“I know you´re trying to somewhat compliment me but those are some really backhanded remarks.”

“All I´m saying is that for whatever reason I really want to fuck you,” He bluntly stated, his dark eyes watching you intensely from so close.

“Sheesh. Unless you want to time it, not going to happen.”

“Let´s see about that,” He smirked, and you honestly got chills.

“Listen, just because you suddenly realized I´m attractive, doesn´t mean I feel the same way. You´re still disgust-”

“I saw the way you looked at me, Y/N.”

He said that in such a confident firm tone that rendered you quiet. Kudos to him, because that was a first.

Donghyuck took another step closer, bending his head down so your faces were inches apart as he watched you with an amused glint on his eyes, “I know you liked that I was watching. I already dropped the attitude, time for you to do the same.”

“Yeah, no thanks,” You disagreed but your eyes were glued to his lips, which were a single breath´s distance from yours.

“I´m used to brats, Y/N.”

“You´ve never met a real one,” You looked up back at his eyes, a glint on your eyes that got him groaning.

“I´ll break you in no time.”

“I´d like to see you try,” You smirked, giving his lips a teasing quick lick before softly pushing him away and leaving with a wink.

You were a second away from letting Lee Donghyuck fuck you in a dirty hallway inside a full club. Yeah, you had to make your escape.

You made your way back to the bar, your whole body buzzing as you apologized and thanked the confused bartender who was looking around for you, making your way back to the table balancing 4 drinks in your hands.

“Took you long enough,” Chenle commented once you placed the drinks on the table and sat down next to him.

“Where´s Jeno?” You asked, ignoring his complaint.

“Karina´s here.”

“Oh.”

“What? Was he supposed to keep giving you puppy eyes while you sneaked around with Haechan?”

“That´s just what his eyes look like,” You rolled your eyes, not denying any of Chenle´s statements.

“Did you time it at least?”

“I didn´t fuck Haechan, just had to give him a lecture.”

“Yes, mommy.”

Jisung choked around his drink at his friend´s comment, but before Chenle could tease him for it, Jaemin, Jaehyun and Johnny returned to the table.

“Where´s Mark?” Was the first thing Johnny asked before stealing one of the drinks you had brought.

“Bathroom,” Chenle answered.

Jaemin reached out to get the last glass from the center before you swatted his hand away, “This is Jeno´s.”

“Sorry, Miss Lee,” Jaemin rolled his eyes, grabbing your drink instead and sucking on the straw.

“Didn´t say which Lee,” Chenle teased and as if on cue, all three Lees returned to the table almost at the same time, coming from different directions.

“Y´all tired?” Mark asked after he slumped on the couch. “I´m exhausted.”

“We´ve been here for 2 hours at most,” Jaemin complained, but his eyes did seem a bit tired.

“C´mon, let´s drink some more. Next round is on me,” Johnny suggested, already raising his hand to call one of the VIP´s waiters over to order shots for everyone.

Well, you were never one to deny a free drink.

Or three.

The rest of the night was spent in flashes, in one of them you had agreed to dance with Haechan and had him holding you close by your waist as he ground and swayed his hips against you. In the second one you had informed the others you´d go back to your place before them because your “feet hurt”, Haechan´s hand on the small of your back. When you finally came back to your senses, Haechan was throwing you against the elevator walls and catching your lips hungrily, hands literally everywhere, trying to make up for all the lost time. You indulged in it because honestly, the way he was kissing you got your legs weak and he knew that, by the little whines that kept leaving your mouth. The trip up was short and when the doors dinged open, he simply grabbed the back of your legs and wrapped them around his hips so he wouldn´t have to stop as he made his way to your front door.

“Fuck, the keys,” You groaned against his mouth, remembering you left all your stuff with Jeno.

“I got it,” He assured you before forcing your lips together again, his left hand leaving your body so he could fish for the keys in his pocket and open the door. When that was cleared, he wasted no time making his way to your bedroom. Your body met the bed as Haechan hovered above you, tongue in a battle with your own as he grabbed your arms and pushed them above your head and held them there.

“You´re still not going to fuck me,” Your voice was breathless, but you still made your point.

“It´s ok, I only want to watch tonight,” He smirked, eyes locked in yours as he pressed his knee against your core.

“Fuck,” You whined.

Content with the sound, he dipped his head down to mouth at the side of your neck as he kept grinding his thigh against you. Your back arched as his tongue got shivers running up your skin and you could hear his chuckle against your veins, but when you tried to push him away, he simply left a harsh bite on the juncture between your shoulder and your neck. A loud moan escaped your lips at that.

“Pain slut,” He laughed at you.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Go on, touch yourself,” He ordered. “Or do you want me to do it?”

“You´ll have to do better than that if you expect me to give you what you want.”

“Oh, sweetie. Should I check who wants this more?” He gave you a look of fake pity, his hand that wasn´t holding yours making his way between your legs, a single finger lightly tracing the outer line of your panties, so close to feeling how soaked you actually were.

You squirmed under his touch and he simply smirked up at you.

“How do you want me to touch myself if you´re holding my hands?” You groaned.

“I want you to ask nicely,” He informed, his finger teasing the seam of your panties.

Haechan´s mouth found yours again as he sucked on your tongue, his free hand now grabbing the waistband of your panties and slowly dragging them down your legs and you bit his plump bottom lip to keep yourself from whining at the way your core ached so badly it hurt.

You suddenly realized he was about to see you really naked for the first time and the thought of it got you squeezing around nothing.

Ok, fuck it, he won.

“Let me,” You whined against his lips.

“Let me what?” He teased, the sight of his hands getting lost under your skirt doing wonders for you.

“Let me touch myself,” You breathed out.

“Will you put on a pretty show for me?”

“Yes. Fuck, yes.”

“Good girl.”

Fuck.

At that, you felt his hand opening around your wrists and you wasted no time in getting them where you needed them, a loud moan leaving your mouth when your fingers met your slit and you felt how absurdly wet you were.

Haechan stood up on his knees so he would be able to fully see you, “Open your legs for me.”

And so you did, your mind spinning at the way he groaned at the sight when you complied.

“You´re so fucking wet,” He admired, his voice sounding dazed.

Your brain had no longer a single thought running around, all you cared about was how good you felt and how much you needed to cum, all your inhibitions thrown out of the window with how Haechan was over you, watching you touch yourself like he was ready to carry you to a damn pedestal and worship you. A gasp left your lips when you stopped teasing yourself and finally circled your clit, your moan followed by another groan from the man in between your legs. You were so lost in your own world of pleasure that when you felt Haechan´s hand gently pressing around your neck, your whole body spasmed at the feeling.

You knew you were moaning like an instructed porn star, but your ears were trained on the way Haechan´s breath was heavy, how his eyes were dark and trailing down your body then up your face like a man starved.

“Donghyuck-” You whined, not even knowing what for.

“You´re doing good, baby. So pretty for me, keep going.”

He bent himself over you once again, now watching your face contort in pleasure inches away from his own. His free hand caressed your cheek and you leaned into the touch, rubbing your skin against his palm as you looked into his eyes. He looked so good you could probably cum untouched just by looking at his stupid handsome face.

“So pretty,” He breathed out as he put two of his fingers into your mouth. “Suck.” He had a sadistic smile on his face as he watched you follow his orders and squirm under him, “Awn, you´re close aren´t you? Let me see, don´t stop.”

Haechan pulled his fingers from between your lips and let go of your neck, leaving teasing kisses down your skin, down the cleavage of your top and then trailing his way on your abdomen after pushing your shirt out of the way. When he got to your skirt, he left a little peck on your navel before flipping the fabric up, now face to face with your pussy as he laid in between your legs.

“Al-almost,” You whined, speeding up your fingers.

You squeezed your eyes shut, ready to brace yourself when you suddenly jolted them open at a foreign feeling. You gasped and looked down to find that Haechan had put two of his fingers inside of you and it felt absolutely mind-blowing, “Fuck.”

“Don´t worry, I´m just going to leave them there.”

He didn´t even look at your face, too entranced with the way you were just sucking him right in. The added stimulation felt like heaven and you knew you were on the edge, considering begging for Haechan to just move his fingers but somehow, him just leaving them there, rubbing against your spasming walls, not doing a single thing to help as you worked yourself around him, was hotter than you would have imagined.

“Fuck, you´re clenching so much,” You didn´t miss the way the man sucked in a breath and closed his eyes harshly for a quick second, like he was trying to get himself together – And with that you noticed he was grinding his crotch against the bed and you just saw stars, exploding around his fingers and being surprised by the semi-scream that ripped through your body as you came. Your whole body shook and you didn´t even feel it when Haechan grabbed your thigh and dug his nails harshly on your skin to keep himself grounded so he wouldn´t legit cum untouched.

Curses left your lips in the form of gasps as you enjoyed your high and after a few deep breaths, you sat up and looked at Haechan, “Let me suck you off.”

“Fuck, don´t say it like that,” He groaned, standing up in a single heartbeat and positioning himself sitting down against your headboard.

“I had to or you´d cum in your pants,” You teased as if you weren´t in a hush yourself, unbuttoning his pants in lightning speed.

“Look who´s all mouthy now,” He rolled your eyes but his attitude was soon interrupted by a whine when you accidentally brushed your hand against his crotch when pulling his pants down. “I can´t help it. You´re just really hot.”

“Always have been,” You assured once you were happy with the lack of jeans on his body.

“I know,” He breathed out and you just had to stop and admire the view for a second. Haechan manspreading in your bed, black boxers matching his black t-shirt, his tanned skin glistening and everything about his face read fucked-out when you haven´t even done anything yet. His thick thighs led the way to his twitching bulge and suddenly it made sense to you why that man was so cocky all of the time.

You got on your knees in between his legs and slowly kissed the inner part of one of his thighs, letting him feel your wet tongue as he groaned and dropped his head back.

“Don´t tease.”

“Or?” You raised your eyebrows, looking up at him. He pressed his tongue inside the inner part of his cheek in annoyance, but you knew he was in no position to do anything at the moment.

You didn´t give him a chance of retorting, gently rubbing your cheek against his member and feeling it twitching against your skin, leaving an open-mouthed kiss on him over the fabric before nosing around it just to hear him whine.

“I´m trying to be nice,” He groaned.

“Don´t be,” You mouthed, looking up at him, your lips still touching his member as you spoke.

He laughed loudly at that, “Ok, you asked for it.”

Before you had time to process his words, Haechan grabbed the hair on the back of your neck so harshly you thought he would rip it out. He held your face away from him as he used his free hand to push his boxers a bit down and pull his member out, your mouth watering at the sight like a good whore.

“Open up,” He ordered after his cock was out, simply pushing your mouth down on it just as he wished, hitting the back of your throat and giving you absolutely no time to adjust as you tried your best to hold your coughs inside, tears already filling your eyes as he didn´t budge. “That´s it.”

If you were choking or not, he didn´t care, being truthful to his words of not being nice and showing the Haechan you really knew. He held your head down as he fucked into your mouth and you didn´t know why, but that got you clenching around nothing again. As much as you didn´t like Haechan very much and you´d never let him verbally know how much power he suddenly had over you, the sounds that left his lips were the single hottest thing you had ever heard in your whole life. For that only reason, you ignored that you couldn´t breathe or that your neck and jaw were aching like hell, letting him use you until you passed out if that was the case.

“Awn, you like this, don´t you? Guess you really are a whore.”

You moaned around him and since he was already so worked up, it was enough to get him shooting down your throat. The whines that left his mouth were enough to keep your mind away from the thoughts of “how the hell will I continue to make fun of someone who now had his dick in my mouth?”

Dongyuck watched with tired eyes as you straightened yourself up, a proud smile on his face as he noticed you swallowing. His hand found the back of your neck and he pulled you into a soft lazy kiss which you found yourself thankful for. When you pulled away, he carefully watched your face and you looked at him confusedly.

“You really are insanely hot,” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “Especially like this.”

You figured that you looked like an absolute mess right now, your eyeliner and mascara smudged around your eyes and trailing down your cheeks, your hair sticking out in every direction and your lips puffed. You guessed that was the appeal.

“So I´ve been told.”

You stood up, not really sure of what to do as the man in front of you fixed himself up. Should you kick him out? Invite him for cuddles? Order pizza? Tell him you´ll wait for his Uber outside with him? Invite him to stay the night? At that moment, you realized you had never hanged out with Haechan when it was just the two of you - actually, scratch that, you don´t really remember ever really talking to Haechan when the others weren´t around or the two of you weren´t bickering over something. You didn´t really feel the urge to form a friendship out of nowhere, because the man in your bed buckling his pants was still very much Donghyuck and you still found him very much annoying, even when you just had his dick in your mouth. Point being, you didn´t really need to kick him out but you didn´t really have to force a closeness that the two of you never had either.

“Wanna shower?” You found yourself asking, trying to at least be polite so you wouldn´t have to hear it from Mark the next day - Although you couldn´t fathom a single scenario in which Mark would ever mention you blowing his friend.

“With you?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

“I´ll get to see your boobs for the first time?” He asked, his eyes glistening in excitement.

“Yeah, no. I take it back -”

“I´m just messing with you,” He laughed, standing up and grabbing your hand to drag you to your own bathroom. “Let´s go.”

You gave his back a weird look but followed along anyways, desperately trying to find a topic you could fight over so you could feel normal once again.

When reaching the bathroom, Haechan closed the door behind you and calmly took his shirt off before turning on the water and testing the temperature, adjusting it to his liking before taking his pants off too. You took your own clothes off in silence, leaving your panties and bra on because being completely naked in front of him felt like too much for whatever reason. Donghyuck didn´t seem to share of your discomfort though, his hands grabbing the waistband of his boxers to take them off before you quickly interrupted him.

“How about we turn the lights off?” You suggested.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

You stopped yourself before you could agree, not wanting to give him any teasing material for later. He seemed to sense the thought process inside your head and you were bracing yourself for an annoying remark on his part when he simply nudged you to the side and turned the lights off himself. The soft moonlight slipping in from the window was enough to be able to see your immediate surroundings and Donghyuck´s face, so you simply smiled appreciatively at him and finished taking your underwear off before stepping into the shower.

“Oh, fuck. This is way too cold,” The nice little moment was broken the minute a single drop of water touched your hot skin.

“What do you mean?” Haechan asked, joining you inside and getting under the shower stream himself. “It´s the perfect temperature.”

“Are you insane? The water is freezing!” You argued, pushing him out of the way so you could change the temperature to something bearable. When you felt the water burning down your back you hummed in contentment, “See?”

Donghyuck raised his hand next to your body to test it before dramatically hissing in pain, “Are you trying to cook yourself?”

“No, I´m trying to have a relaxing shower but you´re keeping me from it.”

“You´re scalping yourself, that´s what you´re doing.”

“Go shower in the rain if you prefer being cold and sick.”

“It was not even cold! It was an acceptable normal temperature!”

“Acceptable to who, Lee Donghyuck?”

“Just shut up. Move, I´m cold.”

“You can respectfully freeze.”

Finally, the universe´s balance was restored.

Pt. 2 link at the description

#haechan #haechan smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct #nct dream #nct dream smut #lee haechan #donghyuck smut #jeno #haechan fic #haechan scenarios #nct 127 #donghyuck scenarios #haechan fics #nct scenarios #nct fluff #haechan fluff

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gloster · 4 years ago

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FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I know I speak for all when I say....I cannot wait to toss 2020 out the door the way Uncle Phil constantly did with Jazz. One of the things that got me through this rough year, besides family & friends & BTS, were fanfics.

It’s that time of year again where I make a list of all the fanfics that I absolutely adored. Some are by veteran favs of mine, others are new to me who just knocked it out of the park. If you’re interested in past lists, here is 2019′s list and 2018′s. If y’all are interested in doing your own fanfic favs of the year, please do so and tag me. Always on the hunt for new favs.

So without furhter ado, my fav fanfics of 2020:

1). Another Word for Forever series by stardropdream (sheith)

Summary: Shiro knows better than to expect love in an arranged marriage. This is all for the sake of universal peace, after all, and solidifying a Terran-Galran alliance. At the very least, Shiro can hope to make a friend out of this. Becoming friends would be much easier, though, if he and his husband could actually communicate.

With a language barrier and a mountain of cultural differences between them, getting to know Keith proves to be a challenge. Luckily, Shiro's always worked well with challenges.

2020 shockingly became the year of sheith. I ended up rewatching the show w/my bestie @littlenightdragon. Diving more deeply into it w/my other bestie @kila09. She and I spent the better half of this year devouring so many fanfics of them in various AUs. I came across new fanfic authors, and stardropdream is among them.

If I could describe this series & stardropdream, I’ll take a cue from Lady Gaga: “ talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it”

This series was just PERFECTION. I’ve gotten into arranged-marriage AUs and this has been one of the best I’ve read. It was just perfection. The language barrier definitely added an extra charm to it, in which Shiro finds his own ways to get to know his husband better: both creative and funny ways. So many cute moments, so many funny moments with Hunk being the translating middle man between them, and the smut. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. Just *chef’s kiss* Incredible. It was just so so sweet, and such a comfort read. I reread this series 5 times already and hope Robin (the writer) does more stories in this AU.

Please read this series. You’re not gonna regret it. It will MELT your heart.

Honorable Mentions:

If I Called You Mine

Sail Across the Sky Just to Get to You

Finding Shelter (The Alien Baby Remix)

Say You Do(n’t)

2). The Golden Hour by @goldentruth813 (sheith)

Summary: After a space mission failure, Shiro loses his arm and his career. Two years later he's settled into a quiet and simple new life on his farm, but when a beautiful alien crashes in his field, he discovers the answers to his questions—and possibly the keys to his future—will come from the stars.

I’m sure no one, least of all Janel the writer herself, is surprised to see this author featured on this list. For now the 3rd year in a row. WOOOW 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 She is the reason I got into shieth, and she just continues to put out amazing conent with them. This story by far has been the best she’s done this year-possibly one of the best ever.

We have Shiro trying to have a simple life at the farm with his dog and animals. A curious BOM Keith who shakes things up with his boldness/innocence-and questions bound to test blood pressure, especially Shiro’s. Loads of cute moments, loads of funny moments, and also loads of oreos.

If summary and my thoughts don’t sell you, only one thing will: reading it for yourself.

Honorable mentions:

Two Hearts in Bloom

Mountain Men

Home is in Your Heart

3). Spun like Gold by Neyasochi (sheith)

Summary: Though Shiro is currently operating his fledgling bakery business out of a decrepit food truck he got for cheap in a repossession sale, he dreams of something more: a cozy bakery and cafe on a tree-lined street somewhere, filled with the smell of fresh coffee and sugar glaze instead of diesel. A little money could go a long way to helping him get off the ground-- and luckily, Keith has money to burn.

Or: Keith takes care of Shiro’s financial woes, in exchange for a little sugar.

OMG, OMG, OMG was this story so sweet. Neyasochi already sold me with the baking/baker Shiro trope, but went a step further throwing in sugar-daddy Keith who knows his way around his manic family and cars, but when it comes to asking a cute guy out? What better way to make an impression than becoming his best paying customer?

Honorable mentions:

oh, devour me

Healing Touch

on your hand of gold

4). The Destiny You Sold by @tryslora (drarry)

Summary: In which Draco knits, Harry makes wands, and things get very tangled up between them.

If there’s one thing I love about fanfics is how they introduce you to tropes you never would consider before. Draco and knitting was a combo I didn’t realize how much I needed until now. And I love the fact knitting played a big part of the accidental bonding. Also loved the fact everyone in their friend group shipped them like crazy. Highly, highly recommend

5) What’s My Age Again? by @lazywonderlvnd (drarry)

Summary: Harry Potter has had enough of pleasing the public, and his reckless tendencies are finally getting out of hand.

The Quidditch World Cup is only a week away; as Captain of the English National Team, Hermione has assured him that his immaturity won’t be tolerated by the Ministry.

And then Malfoy shows up.

(Inspired by the blink-182 song of the same name.)

It’s no secret that I’m such a fangirl of @lazywonderlvnd. Any drarry story I read, I always love. Last year, I ADORED The Changing Lights, which was one of my favorites last year, and her updating/finishing the story was a massive highlight for me. I thank ya for that.

This story was honestly refreshing. I’ve grown so used to Harry being responsible, always doing what’s right, that seeing a story where Harry pretty much has his middle finger in the air to “good reputation”, “being responsible,” because as he brought up: “I’m 25. I’ve been fighting all my life. I’ve earned my life to have fun.”

Okay, granted, it wasn’t quite like that but it was along those lines. And I agree. After all he went through, Harry deserves to have fun. He deserves to be reckless and make stupid decisions.

Also, it was such a blast reading a story where Harry is the brat & Draco has to keep him in line. LOVED.

Honorable mentions:

Inside Your Mind

Aletheia

6). Chocolate and Pastry by agentmoppet, anemonen (drarry)

Summary: When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected. Harry is struggling with something, pushing it far down inside him where he doesn't have to acknowledge its existence. Draco starts to worry, and then he starts to care, and then... horribly... he starts to fall in love.

Do not let the title fool you like it did me. Title alone, I was thinking it was going to be a fun, fluffy story involving baking, maybe chocolate crafting. However....it was not that at all. It was more. A lot deeper. A lot more angsty. It explored mental health, PTSD and the dangers of loved ones ignoring the signs, and contained an important message:

You can’t love someone out of their illness/disease/ addiction. Which is true and this story showed that.

7). i’m still here by owedbetter (zutara)

Summary: "You see me."

And somehow, that makes all the difference.

If there’s one of the few good things 2020 has brought, it was Netflix bringing back ATLA to their library. Which in turn ignited my love for zutara & had me drag @kila09 into that ship.

This story was just incredible. The way it was written, it really felt like it could have been canon. Deleted scenes that a certain creator didn’t want us to see. The way Zuko and Katara came together, starting from their peaceful friendship after the Southern Raiders episode up, becoming closer along the way.

I dare y’all to read this and not think OMG...is this secret canon bonus material? I definitely plan to read more by owedbetter.

8). all the what ifs i never said by rosegardenlake (sheith)

Summary: Keith is nine when he first notices Shiro. Shiro is gentle and quiet, always keeping to himself. Keith is rough and loud, running wherever his feet will take him, screaming on the top of his lungs into the wind. But despite that, they're a constant throughout each other's lives...if only that could be enough. As they grow, Keith just wants them both to be happy, but instead, he's falling apart.

Rosegardenlake is another sheith writer who I adored last year & adore this year as well. This was a story that I read during the beginning of quarantine-life and when I tell you the number of times Keith’s emotions of loneliness got to me, it’s a big number.

Keith’s struggle with life after high school, after peaking in school, and his mental health reminded me too much of where I was at 2018, which wasn’t a good year for me at all, especially mentally. So that was triggering but it was also helpful since I saw how far I came. And it was beautiful seeing how far Keith came.

Also the relationship between Shiro and Keith was just beautiful. It’s very funny how Keith was Shiro’s protector growing up and Shiro became Keith’s later on in life. There’s a chance your heart may be heavy, but will also be so swelled up with feelings these two bring it.

Honorable mentions:

Where the Light Doesn’t Reach

9). When Night Comes by Oh_Hey_Tae (BTS; poly ot7)

Summary: Jungkook’s tipsy, but he’s not buzzed enough to miss that he doesn’t recognize any of the four dozen people here. And seeing as his friends aren’t ones to ditch and there’s no way they’d play a prank this mean on him, Jungkook reaches the conclusion that he just walked into a stranger’s very expensive home, uninvited, and started eating their food and petting their well-dressed dog.

(Or: Jungkook shows up to the wrong Halloween party and meets the most powerful family in Seoul.)

I can easily say Oh_Hey_Tae easily one of my favorite BTS fanfic favs. Always come through with the stories, and this one was just amazing. We have Jungkook stumbling into a Halloween story, and soon enters into a intense, insane relationship with all six guys, who are already in a relationship with each other. Oh, and supernatural creatures at that.

You do see certain relationships are stronger, deeper. For example, a lot of moments between Jin and Jungkook. Vmin has their own story and moments. But it was just so amazing.

Fair warning. Halfway through, things get darker and Oh_My_Tae really loves playing readers diirty with the angst, but it’s so good.

10). peace-weaver by magisterpavus (sheith)

Summary: You will be the peace-weaver, his mother told him, smiling though her dark eyes welled with unshed grief. The one who brings two bitter enemies together and ends the bloodshed and death between us, once and for all.

But men will always crave war. The Galra, most of all.

Yet another arranged-marriage AU that I loved. This particular one is well-loved in the sheith fandom. I can definitely say it’s considered one of the classic fanfics that’s been read or shared at one point or another.

The story itself reminded me a lot of Macbeth, involving murder and dark forces at bay. The dynamics between Shiro and Keith reminded me of Drogo and Daenerys from GOT, one of my fav couples there, which only made it all the more better for me.

I do credit the author for the creative approach they took with quintessence and Shiro’s role/persona as the Champion

Honorable mentions:

The Boy in the Window

Sheith Demon/Priest AU

A Matter of Scale

Directive

Honorable mentions that I seriously wanted to add to the list but this post is already lengthy. All amazing, all greats reads by various writers y’all should check out:

Hold Me Tight, or Don’t by snowfallen (yoonmin with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU featuring assassins and hitmen, secret identities, fake marriage, and a lot of smut)

The Prince and Pirate by Maniacani, @nerdherderette (drarry with a splash of royalty and pirates. Perfect if you’re needing to fill in any Pirates of the Caribbean or Black Sails cravings)

First Kisses are the Best Ones by SashaDistan (sheith in a 50 First Dates Fusion heartfelt/heart-gutting story)

freely, as men strive for right by @bixgirl1 (drarry w/Harry explaining the many ways why Draco’s the love of his life. we love to see it)

The Sacrificed by SasuNarufan13 (sasunaru w/ dark fairytale elements similar to Little Red Riding Hood & Beauty and the beast + feat. mpreg)

Chasing Treacle Tart (and Draco Malfoy) by xErised (drarry feat. lunch lady Draco + scheming Harry + loads of fun w/sweets & more)

Red Desert by @beatitudinembty (taekook in a unique sci-fi AU; hard to explain but so worth a read

one way ticket to another life by starboykeith (sheith Hades x Persephone background)

Even So by lewilder (zutara; arranged marriage+ language barrier +soft strangers to lovers)

Well, lovely people, there you have it. My top 10 favorite fanfics of the year. I do notice a certain ship shows up a lot on this list, but I wasn’t kidding when I said they took over this year. Still, I tried to mix the list up with other fav ships/fandoms of mine. To the writers who created these incredible stories. I applaud you. I thank you for creating and sharing these wonderful stories. Anyone interested in doing the tag, please do.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS

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awriterpretendingtowrite · 4 years ago

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TFATWS Spoilers

Don't keep reading if you haven't seen up to the latest ep of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Ep 5).

First, I love Sam and Bucky’s dynamic, and I used to not ship them at all.

However, this frickin show. Wow, where to start.

First, the queerbaiting in Ep 2 with the couples therapy was blinding.

Then, they just keep fighting like an old married couple. If we kept the same shots, the same music, same tones of voice, but changed one of them to be female, this would be a romance.

Now for Ep 5:

First off, I LOVED that Sam is finally taking on the Captain America mantle and proving that he doesn’t need the serum to do it!!! Even after Isaiah Bradley shared his horrifying experiences, after it looked like Sam was giving up, he still decided to pick up the shield and train!

Speaking of the training scene... let’s talk about the queerbaiting. Whether it was intentional or not, there was a TON of queerbaiting in this episode. Here’s what I saw, but feel free to add on:

1. The way they fight together in the beginning isn’t their best work, at least in my opinion, but it’s still amazing, and it at least shows that they trust each other with their lives. That scene was more focused on Walker, but there was still that element of partnership that we used to see with Bucky and Steve, who were/are also heavily queer-coded. When Bucky saved Sam from Walker’s killing blow, it solidified that these two men matter a lot to each other and that they are partners, even if they don’t want to admit it.

2. Speaking of, their bickering is hilarious, but also undeniably old married couple behavior. It can also be seen as the classic romantic trope of “fake-fighting because neither of you have processed your feelings yet and you don’t want to ruin your friendship.” Most importantly, in between that bickering, they have real conversations, and although they can be stubborn with each other, it shows us that again, they really care about each other and that they are partners in fighting for their cause.

3. Skip to Sam being home, calling in favors, etc, fixing up his family’s boat. “How do we get it off the truck?” Cut to Bucky casually showing off to all of Sam’s friends with his strength and fixing the gas leak. AKA the romantic trope of showing off in front of your romantic interest and their friends.

4. Speaking of Bucky fixing the gas leak, they were way closer than they needed to be at first, and Bucky grabbing Sam’s arm, and the return of their old married couple bickering. I can’t, please, my little queer heart can’t take another major company using us for money.

5. Bucky continually showing his strength to Sam and being super helpful (also, the jeans/t-shirt combo? Deadly to my little bi heart).

6. “Well, Nicole, what about Sarah and Bucky?” That’s a valid point, truly. What about them? Honestly, I was looking for any romance between them to make sure I wasn’t just blindly ignoring it because I want the gay romance to happen so badly, but I saw nothing except Bucky going, “hEy. I’m Bucky.” And then they made it worse by having Sam say, “But don’t flirt with my sister.” Yes, that is a big brother thing to do, but again, if either of them were female, that’s a Jealous Crush move! There’s no denying it! “Don’t flirt with them” *internally* because you should flirt with ME.

7. Skip to Sam fixing the boat and Bucky knowing that he’d be down their fixing it and just helping him. Who was the only person Bucky ever just helped and took orders from like that? Steve. That was it. Again, queer-coded. (And more old couple bickering)

And finally...

8. The training scene. Oh gosh, the training scene. Their flawless chemistry. The way they trade off the shield. The way they remember each other’s struggles and the way Bucky tries to understand Sam’s struggles, even though he’s from a completely different era. The way they are vulnerable with each other. The way they look at each other my stars.

9. Sam asking Bucky if he still has his nightmares and Bucky, without hesitation, replying, “All the time.” It parallels the therapy that wasn’t doing Bucky any good at the beginning, but if you watch Bucky’s body language, the look in his eyes, it’s clear that Sam’s words help him more than anything else as so far. The way that Sam knows when to be tough with Bucky and when to be a caring friend who just listens. The way he looks at Bucky.

10. Bucky risking asking the Wakandans for another favor to replace Sam’s wings, because even though Sam walked away, Bucky knew that he would want them back eventually. He knows who Sam really, just like Sam really knows who Bucky is. He is so open with Sam, even more than he was with Steve. Again, the way he looks at Sam. Like he’s some sort of heaven-sent person, like Sam is his lifeline to his sanity. If Bucky were female, that would be immediately recognizable as a pining look. I have given my best friend that look and I was crushing on her, hard. That is not a look straight men give each other.

11. And at the end of their training, when they part ways, just as a little cherry on top, their “bro handshake” lasted wayyyy too long (and the way they look at each other... again). The awkward way they’re trying to put a label on their relationship and Sam automatically correcting partners to coworkers. That may seem like a straight guy thing to do, but as a queer woman, when I was first figuring out that I liked girls, and specifically my best friend at the time, I avoided and corrected, at all costs, any implications that she and I could possibly be involved, even in the sense that someone called us partners for something totally unrelated to romantic intentions.

12. Skip to Sarah and Sam talking and Sarah saying, “Who knew you were so sensitive?” Well, that’s a classic falling in love trope. “You’ve changed, for the better,” or pointing out something specific that has changed because of their partner, is so commonly said to people in romance stories, and if. Sam or Bucky. Were female. This. Would. Be. A. Romance.

My queer siblings, my rabid hellers, my tired LGBT folks who are desperate for scraps of representation--

Don’t settle for scraps, because if we settle for scraps, it’s all we’ll ever get. It was a start, sure, but we cannot continue to let big companies think it’s okay to queerbait us in increasingly obvious ways and make money off of us frantically grasping at straws. Look at Supernatural. They had a gay confession to draw the queers back in the for last two episodes, then never acknowledged it. In fact, they insulted us by killing any and all even slightly queer-coded characters.

It’s time to join together and let our voices be heard. Our sexualities, our gender identities, our struggles, will not be made into something that companies use to make money. If Marvel pulls the same BS that the C*W did, queerbaiting and then discarding, we need to let them know that that is no longer acceptable. It’s not okay; it never has been.

In the meantime, enjoy TFATWS, ship whoever you want, and be aware of what is happening and what Disney and Marvel are doing.

We won’t stand this mistreatment any longer, and when it comes down to it, we will make our voices heard.

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #sambucky #queerbaiting #again #will it ever end #marvel #stucky #captain america #john walker sucks btw #hellers unite #against queerbaiting #no more queerbaiting #queerbaiting cw #long post #i'm frothing at the mouth #i literally cannot take this anymore #stop using my sexuality as a way to make money #my post

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hankwritten · 4 years ago

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TFComics Rewrite

I am currently plotting an outline for a TFComics, and I want to get my thoughts about fixes to canon and possibly get feedback. Since this is a rewrite there’s really no *spoilers* or anything, so I’m willing to answer all questions about what I plan to do. Also some characters I’m not so sure about how I want to retool them, so if your have ideas for your fav let me know!

Disclaimer:

This rewrite is intended to critique the content/choices made in the construction and telling of the Team Fortress 2 comic series. It is not a personal attack on the artists/writers/directors or any of the creatives that made contributions to this series, nor is it meant to substitute or replace the official release. This work is transformative in nature, and relies on an understanding of the source material to be understood. TF2 and its characters belong to Valve.

TFCR is working on the assumption that the audience has read the original comic, and as such will skip over scenes and plot points that are unchanged from the original. I don’t think it needs to be said, but this fanfiction will not make sense if you are not familiar with the source.

I also recognize that there are strengths within the comic’s writing and weaknesses within my own. Namely, that Valve writers are gods in the realm of comedy, and I’d rather not try to match them in the regard. As such, I will state up front that these will not be as funny as the TFComics. That is not to say there won’t be jokes (either ones transplanted from the source or some of my own) or that the tone of this will be terribly grimdark, only that my focus will be on improving story structure and character development as those are what appeal to me.

The Broad Strokes

The goal of TFCR is to give a more engaging story for all the mercenaries we know and love, as--let’s face it--the TF2 mercs are side characters in their own damn story. These are some of the planned improvements.

There will be reason for each of the mercs to actually be there. As it stands, the motivations for almost every character besides Pauling and Saxton Hale are vague and unsatisfying. We’d usually say something along the lines of “money” for hired killers, but clearly Scout doesn’t even know if they’re getting paid, and some of the other characters are even worse. The hunt for the Australium is, therefore, boring. MacGuffins usually are, but at the very least the characters should care about the item even if the audience doesn’t. This work aims to give each of the nine mercs a motive and a reason to be in the story instead of just replaceable joke dispensers.

Explain what “Team Fortress” means, and how it relates to RED and BLU. Long and short: the nine mercenaries we see on the team are not from either RED or BLU but rotate between the two, and were the individuals selected to fight the robots. That means all things do happen to all characters. As Valve pretty much goes with “whatever is funniest at the time”, it’s very hard to make a cohesive theory about “where the hell is BLU team?”, but I’ll do my damndest. We’ll also examine Team Fortress’s relationship with the other capital T Teams, and why they’re considered the “rejects” of the bunch.

Comics 1 & 2 will be removed from the timeline as they serve no purpose, only taking what needs to be known about the plot’s setup and jumping straight to A Cold Day in Hell.

We will introduce the Classic Mercs right away so they can generate threat and play against the TF mercs when they do actually meet head to head.

We will not be killing off Gray Mann. (Not preemptively anyway.) In fact, there will be more focus on him and Olivia as villains facing off against the Admin, providing her foil as the TF2 and TFC mercs provide foils for each other.

I considered waiting until the final comic was out to begin working on this, but that may never happen. Jay Pinkerton said he may reveal what plot they had in store eventually, but considering it took Half Life over a decade to get the “I was once a Valve writer but my NDA has expired and now I can go buck wild” treatment, I’m not holding my breath. The main reason I wanted to do this is that the Administrator’s motivations are not interestingly foreshadowed, to the point where there aren’t even any good fan theories out there. That said, WritingDispenser and Riddle of the Sphinx helped come up with a pretty fun one, which was actually the inspiration for me to get off my butt and start plotting this.

There will be no queerbaiting. This refers both to HeavyMedic (which has been simultaneously used as wink wink nudge nudge joke many times and as encouragement for fans to play their stupid hat game) as well as lesbian Pauling (since femme lesbians are the preferred method for front facing LGBT representation across almost all media, but video games especially). If you need to understand why lesbian Pauling is an issue, Sarah Z coined the term “queercatching” in order to describe word of god confirmations on characters sexualities that are not followed up on in the text. I recommend the full video on it.

Due to the importance of immortality in the theming of the comics, respawn will not be a thing. Deaths we think should have happened previously will be explained as close calls, or that Medic can heal a short time after death. Medic and Scout’s deaths will be cut in the story itself, as after Sniper died and came back, them doing the same thing kinda lost their punch.

Scout

There will be no ScoutPauling hints. It doesn’t make sense to give screentime to this relationship because Valve obviously doesn’t think it’s going to go anywhere so why make Scout turn down advances from other hot women? I mean I get Expiration Date was a Thing but it feels like Scout’s whole motivation shouldn’t be reduced down to chasing a girl who doesn’t like him back.

He’s here because he lost his life’s savings in bad investments and needs the money. That’s it. Which is still somehow more than his canon motive which is question mark question mark question mark

He, Soldier, Spy, Demo, and Pyro all start the adventure with Miss Pauling.

Engages with Heavy on a genuine level when they go to collect him, Heavy doesn’t blow him off when he tries to level about dead dads.

There will be no DadSpy reveal. The way Spy treats Scout has never been “deadbeat dad feels bad about abandoning his kid” but more “this is someone I would kill without a second thought if I felt like it” which makes his reveal in comic 5 feel very disingenuous. I don’t think Valve even had this plotline in mind until comic 3, as #2 still has Spy seeming only to care about Scout’s Ma and not Scout himself. It also makes “seduce me!” retroactively weird.

Uhhh hooks up with Zhanna. This one isn’t critical I just think it’s funny.

Soldier

Soldier is going to be the Ur example of the Admin not treating her people well, as we’re going to lean into the whole “Soldier was only mildly messed up until the whole lead poisoning” thing.

He’s here because he’s blindingly loyal to the cause. He’s actually going to very little from canon because of this actually.

Might be the reason Team Fortress has a reputation of being the lower tiers of the Teams, but that doesn’t mean he’s damn good at his job. Fatal flaw is that he’s unstable, and even though the courthouse plotline won’t be in this fic, it should be noted that he actually does cause problems for the other protagonists due to his short temper. He’s a risky asset, but still essential.

There will be a minor explanation for the WAR! Comic, but I think that’s better saved for Demo’s analysis.

Pyro

Pyro is the character you could cut entirely from the comics and have the least change. Now, they’re going to be Pauling’s right hand. Let me explain.

Engineer and Pyro are implied to live together, and Pyro doesn’t have anything better to do than go with Engie after Team Fortress is disbanded. Rather than having a reveal, we will see some of what is going on with the Admin and friends early on, and see what leads up to her sending Miss P the note that kicks off the whole plot. However, while Engie needs to stay and look after her, Pyro’s skills aren’t useful here, and they are sent as a direct messenger to help Pauling.

They’re loyal, and unlike Soldier rarely mess up orders. They’re also partially mute, making them ideal for handling sensitive info. Pauling trusts them to handle the burning of “Elizabeth’s” paper trail.

Will be using they/them in the narrative voice, but other characters will refer to them as he/him. I considered going with it/its because that’s bubbled up in popularity again, but ultimately I decided against it.

We’ll get glimpses to their train of thought, but like the comics they will remain virtually silent.

Demo

Demo’s role in the cast is going to be very similar to Spy’s. The events of WAR! involved him nearly dying and Soldier taking the win, and he’s very bitter that after all those events *apparently* mercs can just be switched around teams willy nilly and don’t have to kill each other anymore. (As the audience, we know this is because the Admin found out the “make them so angry they won’t ask questions” wasn’t a long-term viable solution, and instead brought TFI forward as a neutral third party that was pretending to mediate the gravel wars.) But Demo’s suspicious, and is only along because he really has been miserable since he lost his job.

This conflict will eventually come to a head, more on that in the Sniper section.

Is fairly forgiving with his teammates. Doesn’t like Sniper but I’m willing to drop a little angst during that submarine scene. Is glad to see Medic actually. Here to be some glue to hold this merry band together.

The Eyelander will not be forgotten after 2 comics because I love this character concept and I think it was underutilized.

Drunk jokes will be kept to a minimum. What I liked about WAR! and Bombinomicon was that it took Demo and showed that they knew how to make him funny without making him one note, which they sort of did in the early TFComics but stopped in the later ones in favor of him….being asleep for the whole plot. I promise 100% awake Demo in my rewrite.

Demo likes Pauling on a personal level, but has trouble reconciling her with his feelings on TFI.

Doesn’t get knocked out by moonshine because. Seriously? Poisoning the Demoman with alcohol? In what world does that work.

Heavy

Not too much to change. Scout doesn’t accompany him when he goes to look for the secret Australium cache, and he engages with Mags and Saxton (which will be when the audience finds out what they’ve been up to) and actually cares about what’s going on with them. He thinks Darling is up to something. Which he is, he’s attempting to unseat both Gray and Helen due to long family history.

Will at least mention Medic. Their reunion falls a little flat since it mostly relies on Meet the Medic for context, as they don’t really interact in the comic. There can be a bit of a flashback to what it was like as all these mercs broke up.

I know uhhh Valve seems to think found family is really dumb, and that these murderers could ever like each other is silly or something, but the mercs do? Like each other? For the most part anyways.

Bronislava and Yana come alone for adventures, not just Zhanna. Again, no real reason, but sometimes I get to have tacky fanfic stuff in my own fanfic because I Wanna.

Engineer

Engie ruminates on his family history of allowing all this bullshit to happen and just kind of shrugging. Basically Moss’s analysis of the Conagher themes.

Has put a lot of time, sweat, and tears into BLU and now TFI, isn’t willing to let it fall now, even if Admin is basically living on borrowed time. He’s doing this because of the ‘ole sunk cost fallacy.

Also we get to see more of Pauling and Admin’s relationship through his eyes.

Medic

Congrats on being the one merc with an actual arc, Medic! As a reward, you will not be changed much.

I’m actually going to use Medic’s section to say that the Classic mercs will be referred to by their first names in order to differentiate them, and we’ll get little previews of what they’re like from Medic’s perspective before we actually see them fight Team fortress. The battle at the submarine will be more of a fight in this sense, working it out so it seems like surrender is the only option after Sniper is killed.

Final fight with Cheavy will be...not blocked so awkwardly. I mean this is now a textual medium so my work is already halfway done, but still the pacing is so weird. Shudder.

Sniper

These are the big guns. Most changes, even more than Demo. He’s been actually hunting for New Zealand/the Australium cache on his own, and doesn’t want Pauling interfering, saying for a he knows she could have been the ones to kill his adoptive parents.

(She hasn’t, but the Admin did actually order them killed in an attempt to stop Sniper because she thought she could prevent the exact thing that is going on right now which is that Sniper is considering trying to get at it.)

Sniper doesn’t know this, but Pauling, Demo, and Spy eventually convince him to share his findings and help them get to New Zealand.

Spy

Similar to Demo but is less conflicted about it. He knows just because he likes someone doesn’t mean he won’t have to kill them later.

Spy knows about who killed Sniper’s parents, and tells Demo, sort of as a test to see where his loyalties lie. He also knows that Pyro is Pauling’s confidant for certain things.

Demo questions him about what he’s doing here, whose side he’s really on. But you know. Spy is Spy and he was never really on anyone’s side but his own. When it comes down to it, it might be exactly as Scout thinks: that he’s ditched them all and run off when he had the opportunity. But, big damn hero, comes back in the end.

He’s here mainly to “keep an eye on things.” Also maybe because his gf asked him to keep an eye on her son :)

#tf comics rewrite #tf2 meta

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traccigaryn · 4 years ago

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20 answers for a fanfic 2020

Thank you to @curator-on-ao3 for these questions! I'm a few days late, but who cares?

1. fandoms you wrote for this year

All Star Trek, all the time: Voyager, Picard, and DS9/TNG

2. favorite fic you wrote this year

Oh, that's such a hard question. I love them all, but I think the one that means the most was Tousled, an unrepentant bit of froth about Chakotay's hair. I hadn't written anything in months and was feeling sad but not bad about that. Despite the fact that I started out trying to make it crackfic, I think it may have been the first really truthful thing I'd written in some ways. Also, writing both Tuvok and Seven's voices, making them distinct and distinctive, was so. much. fun.

3. favorite fic you read this year

One thing that fell to the wayside in 2020 for me was reading fic. Still, I read some absolute gems and look forward to unearthing more some time soon.

It is the destiny of stars to collapse by @amoderngirl (T, Chakotay/Janeway). This story. THIS STORY. Months later, and this is still all the coherence I can manage.

Siren Song by @curator-on-ao3 (G, Tom Paris & Cristóbal Ríos). This melancholy and hopeful story was beautifully written and captured Tom and Cris to perfection.

Your Shadow Falling (Caesar) by @coffeeblack75 (E, Chakotay/Cristóbal Rios). Coffee took all these conversations we had, all her insights into these characters and turned them into something joyous and true, smutty and searching.

Not Star Trek at all and not a new story, but Gentle Antidote by x_los was everything I could want in a Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane story that also happened to be a soulmark fic.

4. favorite opening line/scene you wrote this year

"I took another sip of tea and longed for coffee." - From I Thoroughly Lived. Mostly because that is how I feel every time I am drinking tea.

5. favorite ending line/scene you wrote this year

"But in the morning he smiled at her, and she was lost all over again." From Touched.

6. a trope you wrote this year

I think the only out-and-out trope I wrote was a stuck-in-the-turbolift story. Man, I need to do better next year.

7. pairings you wrote this year

To the surprise of no one, mostly J/C, but with an increasing amount of Gen, which was an absolute dream to write.

8. a fic regret from this year

I wrote something I was really proud of, but it hasn't had a chance to see the light of day yet. Hope springs eternal.

9. a song that helped you write

I always feel weird admitting this, but I'm not a big music person? I spent several days listening to Patsy Cline in December, though, and it got me thinking about a whole series of angsty, melancholy stories based on her songs. Stay tuned.

10. total number of fics you posted

Eleven stories. My goal for the year was ten, so suck it 2020.

11. total number of words you posted

63,653 (one piece was co-authored, but I can totes claim all those words for these purposes, right? :D )

12. most popular fic written this year

If we're talking hits and kudos alone, A Sensible Understanding - I mean, it was a smut fest with feels, what's not to love? It was an AU (of sorts) of a rather different story from a few months prior and became its far-more-popular younger sibling. I kind of love that about fic writing.

Between Decks 4 and 5 has also chugged right along and struck a different chord with readers: two people, stuck together in many ways, really just needing to actually talk to each other.

13. least popular fic written this year

Ship, a little drabble I wrote about Harry meeting Voyager. I don't mind.

14. longest completed fic you posted this year

I Thoroughly Lived, coming in at 15,208 words. That was a fun one to write: first person POV, a period AU, and an attempt at gothic mystery. Also corset smut.

15. shortest completed fic you posted this year

The aforementioned Ship (100 words)

16. favorite character to write about this year

Well, that would be Chakotay, wouldn't it? Always and forever. I find the glimpses of layers and contradictions and growth endlessly fascinating. I particularly enjoyed getting to explore his relationships with others this year: Tuvok and Harry, Gerron, Seven, and Cris. Definitely planning on more of that for 2021.

17. a fic you didn’t expect to write

Wherever We're Lost (Jupiter) was probably the most unexpected. It was the first time I'd stretched beyond writing for Voyager and the first time I'd written a pairing besides J/C. @coffeeblack75 and I had so much fun analyzing Cris, thinking about how he'd interact with Chakotay, what brought them both to where we see them. So far, our stories are still the only two in that pairing, but we have more planned. And hey, we all need a rare pair, don't we?

18. most memorable comment/review

I received so many lovely comments this year, and I treasure each one like the baubles they are, but I think my favorite one came from BlackVelvet on Wherever We're Lost (Jupiter) because it encompasses steps forward for me as a writer and the feeling that I am starting to progress:

"You could say i'm an unlikely fan of this story. I haven't seen Picard, have no idea who Rios is, rarely read m/m. Then again, i am a fan of your writing. And it's a delightful feeling to pick up a story, whatever story, and start reading it with a certainty that whatever happens, it'll be amazing, cause you trust the writer. You do not disappoint."

19. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

I've had several stories involving B'Elanna that hadn't quite bubbled to the surface yet, but I think (I hope) 2021 will be their year.

20. something you want to write next year

The B'Elanna stories. The next chapter in the Mythology series. And I want to keeping branching out into other fandoms. That Nancy Drew/Frank Hardy story I've had half-written for a couple years now. Maybe some one-offs in other fandoms that give me some closure.

#fanfiction #my fic #writing meme #janeway x chakotay

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rsadelle · 4 years ago

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The best books I read in 2020

I read 167 books in 2020, which is a little more than one and a half times as many as I read in 2019. (I had a crisis of counting at one point when I read a string of novellas, but ultimately came down on the side of if I can check out the ebook from the library as a single volume, then it counts as a book for the purposes of my list.) Only ten of those are books I reread, which is a fairly low reread number/percentage for me. The large number of books I read this year made it extra difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this list is longer than in previous years. It is, in fact, long enough that I have put it behind a cut to spare your dash.

Top 11 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2020

Bread Alone trilogy (Bread Alone, The Baker's Apprentice, and Baker's Blues) by Judith Ryan Hendricks - I so enjoyed this trilogy about bread baking and figuring out your life and building a home/community and love. I read it at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was baking bread, and it was one of those things I was sad to finish because I didn't want to leave the characters.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - I have read a lot of suburban housewife with a secret books over the last couple of years. This was an excellent example of the genre with the good use of a thematic motif and a second secret reveal after you learn what you think is the biggest secret. Content notes: I had to skim a few chapters because of the large amount of weight and disordered eating content (which is relevant to the character), and there is sexual abuse of a young teenager by an adult as part of the story.

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - This was such an interesting concept and done so well. It was one of the most popular books my sci fi book club read this year, and the New Yorker in our group said it was her favorite New York book ever. The most disappointing part of this book is that it's the first book in a trilogy and the other books haven't been published yet. Content notes: eldritch horror and realistic racism.

The Sci-Regency Series (My Fair Captain, The Englor Affair, My Regelence Rake, Diplomatic Relations, and My Highland Laird) by J.L. Langley - The delightfully ludicrous premise of this series is that there is a gay Regency society in space, which makes for some really fun romances. I've loved this series for over a decade, and I was thrilled to reread the first three books before reading the two new books that came out this summer. I recommend reading the novels in order, as there is an overarching plot involving the Intergalactic Navy that is interesting and ongoing without overshadowing the romances. Content note: these are on the erotica end of the romance spectrum, which means they have very explicit sex scenes. I wrote a lot more about this series in a Yuletide promo post comment.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo - I was so sad to finish this book! I have read a lot of commercial/literary fiction about families in the past few years, and this might be my favorite. I found the characters really compelling and enjoyed seeing their differing perspectives. I didn't want to leave this family.

Throne of Glass series (Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, and Kingdom of Ash) by Sarah J. Maas - This YA fantasy series shouldn't work given its constant escalation, and yet, somehow it does. I greatly enjoyed it, and I cried more than once at the last book. This is a series where I recommend not reading anything about future books until you've read all the books before them so you can enjoy the continual reveals. These are very much genre novels, and if you don't like the genre, these books will not be for you. Content note: there is a lot of genre-typical violence.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai - I admit that I was mildly skeptical about this book given that what I knew about it was that it was a story about the AIDS epidemic where one of the two timelines is about a woman trying to reconnect with her daughter, but I ended up loving it. The two alternating timelines fit together beautifully, and I thought it did a good job of not eliding the horror of the AIDS epidemic experienced by the gay community in favor of the straight woman's experience. I do remain skeptical of how many awards it won; while it was a genuinely excellent book, I also know that awards bodies love dead queer people.

We Set the Dark on Fire and We Unleash the Merciless Storm by Tehlor Kay Mejia - I loved this YA dystopianish (more cultural class divide than apocalypse or singular villain in control) duology about queer women falling in love while working toward revolution. The world building was good, the plot was good, and the romance was good.

Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather - This novella about an order of nuns who travel through space in an organic slug-like spaceship was absolutely wonderful. It deals with issues of faith, purpose, central control, and doing what you can to make the world a better place.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson - I loved this YA novel in a sort of Regency-ish setting about a girl who grew up in a library full of magic books and her dealings with some sorcerers, complete with a romance. Content note: attempted mental coercion and institutionalization.

The Wren Hunt and The Wickerlight by Mary Watson - This is a YA duology about rival druid groups in modern day Ireland. I found both books totally compelling with interesting druid politics and magic. It was also really interesting how well we get to see the worst of both sides of the rival druid groups in the two different books.

Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2020

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher - A friend recommended the author to me. This particularly book is a supernatural horror novel I don't necessarily recommend. However, I have continued to think about elements of it since I read it. (Before you @ me about the author's other work, this was the third of her books I read and the other two were in the more beloved fantasy novel genre.)

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal - I actually didn't like this book that much. We read it for a book club, and it had an interesting concept that wasn't super well executed. However, I have thought about elements of it a lot since then, particularly in comparison to some of the other sci fi I encountered this year.

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - I don't know how much "I actively thought about these a lot" describes my actual experience of having read these, but given their popularity and the number of conversations I had about them, I can't omit them from this post entirely. I liked the first one once I figured out what kind of story it actually was, had absolutely no idea what was happening at any point in the second one, and discovered with both of them that I have a much more limited vocabulary than I thought, at least when it comes to death-related words. I am invested enough that I will read the third book when it comes out, but probably won't read any more of the author's work beyond that. If you want to know more about what I thought, I wrote a very spoilery post about them.

The Sixth World (Trail of Lightning and Storm of Locusts) by Rebecca Roanhorse - This is a pair of novels set in a post-apocalyptic world where there's a magically/divinely-erected wall around Dinétah (the Navajo lands). The worldbuilding and characters are so interesting, and it's a series where some of the details stuck with me and I would randomly think of them. I'm looking forward to reading one of her other books in a few months for my sci fi book club.

Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr - This was one of two books about women mystics I read and disliked this year, and the more disappointing of the two as I'd heard an interview with the author that I found interesting. I continued to think about this one a lot in an angry, "and another thing!" way, which did help me articulate more of the things I dislike about new age-ish framing of "feminine" wisdom/divinity/knowledge.

Top 3 non-fiction books I read in 2020

The Vagina Bible: The vulva and the vagina - separating the myth from the medicine by Dr. Jen Gunter - This is probably better as a reference work than as a straight read-through, but it was interesting enough to read straight through. The book is deeply rooted in science and facts, and she has a whole chapter on "Vaginas and Vulvas in Transition" specifically about anatomy for trans people.

Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life - in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There) by Sarah Hurwitz - This is a useful, contemporary introduction to Judaism from someone who shares a lot of my values. The first half is an introduction to Jewish thought, while the second half focuses more on spirituality and practice. The book is part general introduction and part spiritual memoir. I found it deeply inspirational and I added it to a wish list of books I want to own copies of (I read it as a library ebook) because I would like to both reread it in hardcopy where I can easily flip back and forth and use it as a resource for further study and reading.

You Can Draw in 30 Days by Mark Kistler - You may remember that I wrote more about this when I originally finished reading the book. I found it a gentle, funny, helpful book to teach you the basics of drawing.

The 2 authors I read the most in 2020

Jennifer Lynne Barnes - I read fifteen of her books in three weeks in January, when I was still working full time, and a sixteenth after it was published later in the year. Her books are fast-read YA novels that are deeply engaging and generally have some sort of mystery element to them which may or may not involve family secrets. She has a tendency to write variations of the same characters, which meant that I enjoyed mentally mapping the characters from various books onto characters from other books. Also, her werewolf trilogy does one of my favorite werewolf story things that you almost never see (but it doesn't happen until the end of the first book, so I won't spoil it by telling you what it is). Many of her books involve violence, so heed the summaries or email/message me if you want some content notes.

Laura Lippman - I read nineteen of her books this year, eighteen novels and a non-fiction essay collection. She's an excellent mystery writer with a distinctive voice. The time I read four of her books in four days, I found myself thinking in her style. Even if I hadn't otherwise enjoyed My Life As A Villainess, her essay collection, it would have been worth reading just for the kicker on "The Thirty-First Stocking." Content note: her novels frequently involve violence or its aftermath.

#books #book rec

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coffeefairy · 4 years ago

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Writer’s Month August 2020 - Day 19

Day nineteen of the challenge…Maybe I can’t count. Maybe nineteen is the new fourteen.

Day 19, Prompt: De-aging

Fandom: RWBY

Ship: Cloqwork, Ozqrow, Qrow x Ozpin (this ship has a lot of names..)

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Qrow and Ozpin take a long overdue moment to talk. Set during Volume 5, after they reach the safe house in Mistral.

Excerpt: Since then they’d had no time to themselves, with the time Oscar could maintain the connection still limited and only to be used for making plans and fighting practice. It tore at him to see the moves he knew as well as his own, could counter only due to their familiarity, performed by another. It was like seeing Ozpin from the corner of his eye, feeling his body lift and react, then turning and focusing to realize it wasn’t him. Over and over the same scene had to be acted out, with Qrow feeling like his heart broke anew every single time. He’d always known his heart was a scarred, dilapidated thing but now...it was getting ground from gravel to dust. Because every time he forgot, and hoped for seeing Oz, his ascent was cut short and it hurled him back towards the ground again. With no Ozpin to catch him when he fell. He’d have to learn to do that for himself again.

Tags: Angsty angst angst but also sort of sweet?

Notes: I’m lucky that this ship basically provided answer to “de-aging” prompt in canon. Still, please note there will be no Oscar/Qrow because I find it squicky. Any romance mention is when Ozpin is in the driver’s seat, and only with Oscar’s consent.

Done Deal

Love, in Qrow Branwen’s opinion, was the shittiest hand fate could deal you. And his cards had been dealt a long time ago. On a normal day it wasn’t something he’d thought about a lot. He had sex, and lots of it. He had people he liked, people he wanted. But in love? He’d been in love with the same man since before his seventeenth birthday. It was just one of those facts of life, like how hangovers sucked and your flask was sometimes empty. No use crying about it.

That was before he’d had that love. Like a door had been thrown open his life had suddenly been cast into vivid colours, full of sensations he hadn’t even known he’d been missing. He had tasted the crescendo of passion, where all was fire, hot and urgent. He’d known the gentle, the slow and the intimate. The bond born from sleeping next to someone, night after night, sharing breakfast, moving around another’s space as they both readied for the day ahead. He had felt the fear - like nothing he had ever known before - the fear of losing it all, only lessened when he had seen him. A restlessness inside only soothed by his presence.

Fourteen years of marvels. Fourteen years of his safe haven. Fourteen years of joy, of fear, of sensing a bond that was invisible, yet stronger than steel.

Then he’d known loss. Unmoored and floundering, his anchorage ripped away, leaving him alone in the storm. Only his responsibilities had kept him from going under. He’d had them to his nieces, to his brother in law. To him. He had to carry on his work now.

Now he had a shadow. The man he loved lived on, in mind, in the head of a boy young enough to be his son. The voice he knew better than his own, coming from the slight chest of a teenager. Whether it was his semblance - could there be worse luck than falling for someone who was only ever living on borrowed time - or Ozpin’s curse didn’t really matter - he just knew those words from long ago were true. Where you seek comfort you will find only pain. They had sought, and found it, in each other, and now that meant only pain.

“Hey.”

He turned around in the kitchen to see Oscar behind him.

“Pipsqueak.”

“He..” Oscar’s green eyes slid away over the floorboards. “He would like to talk to you.”

They both knew who “he” was.

“Fine, go ahead.”

“No,” the boy’s ears’ reddened. “Not here. In private.”

Qrow’s throat drew shut. He wasn’t ready for this.

“Maybe he...We...should leave that for now. It…” he ran his hand over the back of his neck. “It can’t be easy for you to hear that...stuff.”

The boy seemed to listen to what was in his head for a moment.

“He says the same. He doesn’t want to make me uncomfortable, but I’m fine.” He squared his narrow shoulders. “There’s...There’s a lot he wants to say and it makes me feel...strange. I’d...I’d rather you talk.”

Qrow gritted his teeth. It wasn’t as if he knew they could carry on interminably without ever acknowledging the love of his life was dead, but his mind lived on inside another. To acknowledge the sliver that was left was more painful than it would have been to let Oz go completely. “Fine.”

He picked up his glass, thankfully full, and headed for what had ended up his room. Habit ensured it was positioned to keep an eye out both ways, as well as being within earshot of all his young charges at once. Oscar trailed after.

Entering the sparse room, he sank down to sit on the bed, knocking back a healthy gulp of the whiskey. The teen stopped inside the door, fidgeted, then sat on the rickety chair in the corner. Putting his hands on his lap, he drew a deep breath.

“Kid, you really don’t have to put yourself through this. It’s weird enough for you right now.”

Oscar shook his head. “No, I...I’d like to. I can sense he wants to talk to you.”

Qrow sighed, rubbed his hands over his face. “Fine. Go ahead.”

For a moment all was quiet.

“I’m here.” That voice. That deep, well-modulated voice that had haunted his dreams since he was basically Oscar’s age. It drove a blade into his chest to hear it every time. His body reacted to it on instinct and he squashed the confusing impulse to reach out.

“What is it?”

It freaked him out to see how the kid’s posture straightened, how his body language became so familiar, yet in the body of another it was nothing but cruel mockery to him.

“I thought...We...We haven’t had time to speak alone since the bar and…”

Qrow remembered the bar well enough.

He remembered how the pipsqueak had appeared, how Ozpin had taken over once he had his cane back. He’d managed to stop himself from hugging the boy and completely freak him out. But the voice was there, the normally slow cadence hurried.

The memory of it played in his head like it had numerous times before, a broken record stuck on one track, unable to move on. Like he was.

“I don’t have much time, Qrow, Oscar still can’t maintain a connection so you can hear it for very long. We need to get to the academy in Mistral, now.”

“The school?”

“Oscar will explain but before that I...” the boy who barely reached his chest stepped forward and for a moment his hand fluttered like he was reaching for him. Then he let it fall. But Qrow could see the intention, the same one he had.

“Gods, Oz, this is...I…”

The boy’s eyes began blinking faster, Ozpin’s voice breaking when he said “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

But the eyes watching him held none of the experience they’d had a moment ago. Qrow swallowed, again and again. His eyes were hot and he noticed now his hands were shaking at his sides.

The large green eyes below him were wider than before, and under his tan a blush rose.

“Ah...He...he heard you.”

Awkwardly he took a step back to widen the distance between them. After all, despite everything, they were strangers. And inside him lived the man that meant more to Qrow than life itself.

Since then they’d had no time to themselves, with the time Oscar could maintain the connection still limited and only to be used for making plans and fighting practice. It tore at him to see the moves he knew as well as his own, could counter only due to their familiarity, performed by another. It was like seeing Ozpin from the corner of his eye, feeling his body lift and react, then turning and focusing to realize it wasn’t him. Over and over the same scene had to be acted out, with Qrow feeling like his heart broke anew every single time. He’d always known his heart was a scarred, dilapidated thing but now...it was getting ground from gravel to dust. Because every time he forgot, and hoped for seeing Oz, his ascent was cut short and it hurled him back towards the ground again. With no Ozpin to catch him when he fell. He’d have to learn to do that for himself again.

“We haven’t,” Qrow agreed, his mind returning to the present.

“Oscar’s control is improving so we should have at least a few minutes.”

Desperation clawed in his chest. “To what, Ozpin? What can we do?” He pushed to his feet, swiping an arm over his eyes. He knew Oscar was still there, still aware of everything that was happening. “This is...Gods, this is worse than losing you was. To...hear you, to know you’re there and still...It’s not you. It’s...it’s worse than cruel.”

He could see Oz almost turning in on himself, visibly feeling the same as he did. But with a deep breath he spoke with the same careful control as usual. The control he’d only ever let slip around Qrow.

“I know. I know it is. And I’m...sorry. I’m sorry I caused this. I never meant to get involved with anyone in this lifetime, I know it only leads to pain in the end but I…” The green eyes weren’t the colour of firewarmed whiskey but the expression in them were the same.

“Don’t you dare.” Qrow hissed, suddenly close. “Don’t you dare regret it.”

“Of course I don’t regret what we had. I regret this,” he waved a hand in an elegant gesture that cleaved Qrow’s heart in two. “What...what my weakness has cost you.” His head bent over the hands balanced once more on his cane.

“Your weakness?” Qrow kneeled in front of him so he could see his eyes. “Do you mean...dying?”

“In a way. It would have been kinder of me to never…”

He had to physically check himself from leaning in to touch. To wrap his arms around the waist of the boy who wasn’t the man he loved.

“No. No, it wouldn’t. I loved you, Oz. I always would, whether you loved me back or not. I always will. The only thing you caused me this way is that for a few years, I was happier than I ever thought possible.”

Oscar’s hands clenched around the cane, lifted to touch him the way Qrow had loved, those long elegant fingers trailing through his hair. Then it stopped, fell. There were lines they wouldn’t cross.

For a moment Oz’s focus flickered, then a small, humourless smile curled his lips. A smile much too weary for a boy whose face it appeared on.

“He says I can touch your shoulder.” Qrow’s head snapped up. “He can sense I want to touch you.”

Slowly, as if not to spook a frightened animal, the small, calloused and tan hand that had nothing in common with Ozpin’s except its intention, reached for him where he kneeled. The hand was small and warm, touching him with the familiarity of years.

“I love you.” Qrow closed his eyes, bent his head. Just for a moment, he wanted to believe the man he loved was really there. “I wish I could be with you, more than anything. But know I love you, always.”

Qrow’s breaths caught and the tears he hadn’t allowed himself spilled over. Hot and painful they ran down his cheeks as his chest struggled to keep up under the force of them. He sensed rather than saw that Ozpin kneeled on the floor in front of him. The hand on his shoulder squeezed, as if to imprint the sensation of it. “I love you.”

The responding words couldn’t make it past the tears as he cried himself dry.

When he finally looked up, he saw the tear streaked face of the boy in front of him.

“Oz?”

The boy sniffled, wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“No, it’s me.” The voice was once more that of a young boy. “It’s just…” his breath caught a few times. “He’s so sad. He tries to shield me, I can tell, but what slips through, it’s…” The tears had made the dark lashes spiky and his brow wrinkled in earnestness. “It’s huge. He loves you a lot. I’ve…” He looked away, blushing slightly. “I’ve never felt anything like it.”

Qrow chuckled dryly despite everything. Sat back so the boy’s hand slipped from his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, kid. You’re young.” He looked up at the ceiling, blinking away the remains of tears. “You’ll find someone.”

“Never!” The vehemence surprised him.

“What?”

“I’ve seen this. It’s like you said, it’s...worse than cruel. You have to...know he’s in here but…” the boy gestured to his head. “But he’s not really...real, anymore. Is he?”

“No.” Qrow pulled his legs up. His forgotten glass on the nightstand was half full and he downed it. In a moment he’d go and find the rest of the bottle.

Oscar didn’t make a move to get up the floor, just sat back too. For a long time they just sat like that. When he spoke again, Oscar’s voice was hoarse.

“Do...Do you regret it? Loving him?”

Qrow slanted a humourless smile. “There’s no point in regretting Fate, kid. Loving Ozpin was a done deal for me, a long time ago.”

“But do you?”

“No. No, I could never regret finding out what loving someone like I love Oz is like. However much it hurts, however much I want to rage and scream at Fate, at the Gods, even at Ozpin, I...I’d never take it back.”

“It still sounds...awful.”

Qrow got to his feet, only slightly wobbly. On his way out the room, he ruffled Oscar’s hair. “That’s love, pipsqueak.”

#ozqrow #cloqwork #ozpin x qrow #qrow #ozpin #rwby #writer's month 2020

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mbtiofwhys · 4 years ago

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How Ni and Ne (don't) binge watch

Premise

MBTI is a serious topic for us mods and we always put our best effort writing articles for this blog. However, we also find entertaining to write in a more light way about how MBTI shows off in real life. This article is one of those: we won’t discuss deeply about theory, but we’ll rather talk about our experiences with binging works of various media, be them books, videogames or tv shows. We love typing fictional characters since we also love works of fiction. Listening to other high Ni and Ne users we found an interesting correlation between those two function and media consumption, especially regarding the topic of binging. So, this isn’t hard science, it's simply a light reflection that 200% comes from our experiences. That being said, we hope this article will be relatable and intriguing.

Ni dom and binge

INFJ mod here. This may sound counterintuitive, but even if Ni is known to be a function about searching for deeper meanings, discarding options and focusing on the few remaining, I approach works of fictions with a “multitasking” method. What do I mean? Well, I’m not the kind of person who will just sit down and watch an entire season of a tv show, even if it’s the best I ever seen (there are few exception to this rule, works like Persona 5 Royal which I heavily binged. With no regrets). I simply prefer to watch a little amount of episodes, or read few chapters of a book, for example, and then stop, thus having time to reflect on what I saw or read. I just need time to process all of the data and feelings, otherwise I’ll just hit the wall of information overload.

Even if they’re just my attempt to find a correlation between high Ni and all those aspects, I’d like to talk about what the causes of this behaviours may be, with a MBTi perspective.

Binging may be hard for Ni users since they need time to analyze things, putting them in their abstract subjective system. This means, in other words, that the higher the level of complexity is, the longer will be the time needed to absorb it. For example, I can read mindlessly a novel for a mere entertaining value, but if I really like it I’ll just take my time to enjoy the journey, reflecting and talking about my feelings and first impressions to my friends (this is my auxiliary Fe showing, I know).

Ni operates by discarding elements, thus Ni users may reach a point where they simply prefer to stop. This process allows them to elaborate those information, be them characters, facts or emotions (based on personal preferences, for example feelers may tend toward the emotional aspect and T users toward puzzles, mysteries, logical consistency). As I stated above, if I absorb too much data and feelings I’ll just freeze, submerged by the information overload. With works of fiction, I have an underlying fear of missing important aspects of it and the more I read, watch or play, the more I’ll need time to stop and see how all the new things make sense, be them theories, feelings, or simply understanding what’s going on. Even while I’m actively reading/watching/playing I process all the informations as a way to put them into perspective, constantly elaborating them in the back of my mind.

Another personal consideration is: high Ni implies low Se. Low Se may find binging as a form of overstimulation. Moreover Se, in lower positions, requires little stimuli, allowing Ni users to organize the environment (rationally or emotionally through Te or Fe), since high Ni users are J and need a certain amount of control over the environment (Te or Fe) and their feelings or internal logic (Fi or Ti) .

Finally, I think there’s a tendency in high Ni user to consume multiple media, but in small amounts. This isn’t supported by hard evidences, it’s just a trend I noticed talking to friends about the subject. Ni users may prefer to approach different media rather than a single one, splitting their attention and energies through them. So, this is the opposite of binging. Personally, except for few works of fiction which I blindly burned with my passion, I usually switch from a medium to another, a sort of “media multitasking” as a way to “cool down” from one by simultaneously approach another one and still being engaged.

Ne dom and binge

ENFP mod here. I fear I’ll have to repeat the same premise as INFJ mod: This may sound counterintuitive, but even if Ne is known to be a function that works with multitasking and jumps from one topic to the other very quickly, I tend to approach works of fiction by shamelessly binging one and proceeding to be obsessed with it for months (or years.)

This happens especially for the works that end up being my favorites once I finish them - paired with the fact that I usually go through them again at least a second time after I’m finished. It almost feels like that if I’m not binging, I’m not interested/invested enough to care. I binge so much, in fact, that I’ve come to distinguish the ‘soft binge’ from the ‘hard binge’ - where ‘soft’ means a 12 episodes anime in 2-4 days and ‘hard’ means 145 hours of Persona 5 Royal in 3 weeks.

So, how might this work?

Firstly, Ne dom needs stimuli. Constantly. The more, the better. Because external stimuli means more prompts from something that isn’t one’s mind, which causes further reflection, connections and a ton of brainstorming. Ne can connect dots scaringly quickly, and even though proper reflection is appreciated to deepen the subject, connections are often made on the spot. I think it’s very difficult for me to reach a point of information overload - it usually happens with very complex topics and study subjects, for which I need to take a break and write things down into diagrams and lists in order to make proper sense of what I learned. But even in the case of works with heavy and intricate worldbuilding/plot (e.g. Stein’s;Gate, but I’m a sucker for time travel fiction so whichever is fine) I rarely stop watching if something doesn’t add up - I usually understand it later on, or wait for everything to end and search on the internet or talk about it with friends. My only time off is the one between OP/ED (which I NEVER skip and my friends hate me for that.) In that time, I disconnect my brain for 1 minute and 20-ish seconds to recharge.

Ne dom doesn’t have the patience to wait. If it wants answers, it wants them now. Binging is great because it offers both stimuli, questions and answers in a short amount of time. Also, (but maybe this is more of an F thing and for Ti aux might be different) I’m not one to make theories and speculations over fictional works - I might do that, but later, once I’m finished. While I’m enjoying a work, I’m usually so involved that all the theorising is limited to hunches and intuitions. Proper theorising needs time, needs one to stop and reflect on one’s knowledge in order to find hidden meanings and try to predict the outcome. I don’t have the patience to do that. I’m not interested in doing that - I want to know what’s going on, period. The few times I happened to reflect and speculate on a work of fiction were when I watched/read/played the thing simultaneously with some friends and talked to them about it constantly.

Which brings us to: discussing with people. Knowing a work means you’re able to discuss it with others, read reviews and watch video essays and analysis, of course Ne dom wants to devour it as quickly as possible. I literally watched the whole Evangelion (and I mean: the anime, EoE and the 3 rebuilds) in two weeks in order to finally enjoy those sweet, sweet video essays and parody and abridged YouTube wouldn’t stop to suggest me. This may sound silly, but searching discussion topics of the works I went through -even the ones I disliked- is very important to me, because listening to other people’s opinions and prompts is a way to further feed my Ne with different perspectives, viewpoints, things I might have missed while binging.

The problem: the quicker the binge, the more it’s difficult for me to remember details about plot, characters etc that, yet minor, can be important or interesting. Which is kind of the main struggle of having low Si: you know something, but you don’t remember everything you’d need precisely. You can’t pinpoint the scene where a thing happened, you feel you might have already seen a detail but you can’t recollect when and in what circumstances, and the list goes on. And this doesn’t stop once you’ve finished, obviously - it can only get worse. Typing the main Persona 5 cast was such a pain that, during my second playthrough of vanilla P5, I literally had to open a document and write down every single line or detail or plot point that could’ve helped me later. Otherwise, the situation would be: “damn, I know [character] said something alongside the line of [thing that could help me with typing] but I can’t remember what exactly! Let’s spend hours on YT watching walkthrough in order to find by chance the exact scene I’m thinking about.” This may also be why I periodically feel the need to go through my favourite works again: I may know them by heart, but there will always be things that I missed.

#mbti of whys #mbti #personality types #myers briggs #typology #binging #ni #ne #introverted intuition #extroverted intuition #works of fiction

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kn1feinthec0ffee · 4 years ago

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in too deep (part 5) - jules

jules x reader

TW: drugging

warnings: beating, homophobia, threat of death, i think that’s pretty much it??

notes: ooooohhh we’re getting closer to the end! not that i’m excited for this to end, but i’m just excited for you guys to see it

i really hope that me putting homophobia in this story doesn’t make you guys think i’m homophobic bc that’s the farthest thing from true. since i changed the gender of the mickey stand-in, i felt like it might be more interesting to add another dynamic into the story so it wasn’t just a word for word copy of the original except with a girl, bc that seems really one-dimensional to me. i feel like i need to put one of those things they have in movie credits like “the views in this film in no way reflect the views of the studio that produced it” kinda thing

also i think this may be my favorite part that i’ve written, bc if you didn’t notice, i’ve never left the reader’s perspective during the whole thing, so i had to improv a bit during the parts of the movie we didn’t get to see with mickey, and maybe i’m just a lil proud of myself :’)

******************************

for the first time since you came up with your brilliant plan to siphon the gas, you actually felt a glimmer of hope. jules was smart, she’d surely find a way out of the house; and she was damn loyal, too, so you knew there was no chance she’d leave you behind.

sadly all those hopes were dashed when you heard the basement door creak open again.

fuck, this whole plan was dependent on the fact that no one else came downstairs! your hands clammed up, your heart rate quickening as footsteps descended the stairs, stopping dead in their tracks once they reached the bottom.

“where the hell’d that little bitch go?” george roared, scanning every nook and cranny in the basement to see if jules was hiding anywhere. “answer me!”

you stayed silent, more out of fear than some sort of strategy. you quickly realized this was the wrong decision as george viciously backhanded you across the face. your head whipped to the side, eyes blinking back into focus from the impact. you felt something sticky on your lips and realized it was blood.

“you’re so angry,” you groaned. “why? just ‘cause you’re shooting blanks?” you pouted in mock sympathy. this sudden boost of confidence seemed to be a mistake as you saw george’s expression shift into a dangerously content one.

“i’m gonna rip your fuckin’ heart out.” your face dropped as he spoke. “i understand you not wantin’ to tell me where she is. in fact, if i were in your position i suppose i’d do the same. but god almighty i’m gonna watch ya’ die. i’m gonna hurt ya’.”

you were stunned into silence but you decided saying something, anything, would be better than nothing. “she’s gone, man. you just need to give it up.”

this seemed to strike a nerve in him. he turned towards you again and delivered another swift slap, knocking the wind out of you. he smacked you again, the back of your head knocking into the pole and causing your consciousness to fade for a moment.

“you think i’m full of hot air, don’t you? only good on roughin’ you up?” he asked rhetorically. “you know i worked as a door-to-door salesman for a few years? learned a lot, but the most important thing i learned was how to read people. and at the end of the day, you’re just an open book, sweetheart.”

the name sounded like poison dripping from his lips. it made you sick, that name belonged to jules.

“i know your type, believe you me, i’ve seen quite a few in my time. you see, you like to think you’re tough, strong, resilient, but at the end of the day, you just value her life above yours.” he laughed to himself. “am i right?”

he chuckled again when you didn’t answer. “that’s alright, you don’t have to answer, i know i’m right. well, you people are more loyal than i thought. guess i gotta give credit where credit’s due.”

“fuck you.” you spat. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” he stood up again, this time grabbing something from a shelf before making his way back to you.

“alright, no more pussyfootin’ around, time to get down to business.” he revealed the knife, positioning it under your ear as he prepared to slice it off.

“sheisn’tgoingtothecops!” you breathed out quickly, hoping he’d let you keep both ears with the statement.

“what? what’d you say?” he seemed caught of guard by the sudden admission, backing off of you.

“not yet, anyway.” you took a moment to catch your breath. “i told her to wait. yeah, we got a little meet up spot. now if i don’t show up there in an hour or so, then yeah, cops galore. you’re fucked, buddy. but, if i do show up, we just continue on our way like none of this happened.”

you took another shaky breath before you continued. “if we’re being honest here, i don’t want the cops involved any more than you do. y’know, the whole ‘not gainfully employed’ thing? the cops aren’t a huge fan of that one.”

george seemed to take this into consideration, nodding quietly to himself. “what about sweetiepie?”

“her? i don’t give a fuck about her, she’s the whole reason i’m in this mess.” you winked at her, hoping she’d understand the message.

george snapped the blade shut, producing the key from to the cuffs from his jacket pocket.

------------------------------

“any last words for this son of a bitch?” george asked gloria as he trained the pistol on you.

“oh, i do wish you’d handled things differently. we could’ve had somethin’ beautiful here.” she smiled sadly, mourning what could’ve been.

“i’ll see you in hell,” george mumbled as he opened the door for you. you stepped into the doorway, only to stop dead in your tracks when you heard your girlfriend’s voice. shit.

“stop, don’t kill her!” jules shouted from the top of the steps, baby doll in hand. “i will smash it!” she held it over the railing, dangling precariously above the hardwood flooring beneath.

“whew, that was close.” george laughed, closing the door behind you. “unhand my baby!” gloria whined.

“alright, missy, calm down. no one’s gonna get hurt.” he kept the gun aimed at your head, but gloria quickly pried it out of his hands and took a shot at jules. she crouched to shield herself from the bullet that thankfully missed, but in doing so let go of the baby that plummeted to the floor, shattering into hundreds of pieces.

“get your ass down here or i’ll blow her brains out!” george shouted gruffly as jules descended the staircase. she ran to you, hugging you close and helping you to stand on your injured leg.

gloria rushed out of the room, bloody pieces of ceramic in hand as george turned back to you. “look what you gone and did. what did i do to deserve you two?”

------------------------------

“cooking’s a zen art for my dear gloria. i’ve found there’s a method to it: the more upset she is, the bigger the dish it takes to pull her out.” george explained. “needless to say, i think the two of you just summoned up a banquet.”

the two of you had been crudely duct-taped to some chairs in the dining room, forced to listen to the stuffy dialogue between the husband and wife. “why? why do you keep her down there?” jules asked.

“it’s not what you think.” he looked over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t listening. “my gloria, she’s always wanted a child. unfortunately, the good lord did not have that in his plans for us. so, i had to take matters into my own hands.”

“oh, so you kidnapped her.” jules stated bluntly. george glared at her, but continued his explanation.

“as you get older, things get... complicated, and i swear to god i had no ill intentions. i just wanted to make my wife happy.” he smiled. “and she was for a bit, until she started to remind her of what she couldn’t have. she asked me to make her go away, but i couldn’t bring myself do that, so the basement is our compromise.”

“dinner is served!” gloria announced, wheeling in a cart full of dishes of shepherd’s pie. she placed one on everyone’s plate before she sat down. they quickly said grace before digging into their food.

“so are you guys gonna kill us or...? what’s the deal?” jules asked matter-of-factly. you wanted to nudge her shoulder and ask her what in the hell made her so bold, but you didn’t want to cause a scene.

“george, you didn’t tell them?” gloria asked confusedly. “i wanted to make ‘em squirm a bit,” he smirked.

“t-tell us what?” you cursed yourself for stuttering but you couldn’t help it, it came out when you were anxious.

“we’re not gonna kill you.” george mumbled, almost sounding disappointed. “i said we’re not gonna kill ‘ya, what are you deaf?” you stifled a grin at jules, not wanting to change their decision to set you free. “we’ve decided that, despite your piss-poor behavior, the logistics of it just don’t make no sense for us.”

“sooner or later someone’s gonna come lookin’ for you two. now, i can hide a body like the easter bunny hides an egg, but the two of you have been sweatin’, spittin’, and pissin’ all over this place.” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “anywho, i’m bound to miss a spot. i figure we have a better chance of hitting the road. we’ll give it 48 hours, tip off the police, they’ll come by and pick ya’ up. i reckon you’ll do some time for whatever the hell you two did, but at least you’ll still be drawing breath. so congratulations, you should be thankful. you just won the damn lottery.”

jules spared a glance at you as if to say, what now? “take your time eatin’ you got another couple days in those chairs.” george muttered as he took another bite of his meal.

screw it, you thought. we’re hungry and going to jail in the next two days, what harm could a nice meal do? you both picked up your forks and knives and tucked in to the plate in front of you. you nearly let out a moan in satisfaction as the food hit your tongue. you scooped up more greedily as you had no clue if and when the next time you’d get fed would be.

“wait,” jules swallowed the food in her mouth. “what’s gonna happen to her?” gloria glanced over to george, waiting for the answer to the question as well.

“well, i’m sure they’ll put her some place nice. these orphanages, i hear they’re like five-star resorts.” george answered.

“does that upset you?” gloria turned to jules, a smile of mock empathy on her face. “anything’s better than down there.” jules mumbled.

“you got a heart of gold, jules. is your full name julia?” jules nodded in response. “my mother’s name was julia. she had a good heart, too, you remind me of her.”

“she died of cancer when i was real little. it was a slow, painful process, but i was with her every step of the way!” she grinned as her husband blew her a kiss. “the day before she died, she told me to look in the closet, that i’d find a special surprise for me in there. it was a package, wrapped up nice and pretty, with a tiny card with my name on it. she insisted i opened it, so i wiped away my tears, tore open the paper and there it was. a doll.”

everything stilled. every sound, the scraping of cutlery on the plate, the sound of everyone breathing, even the breeze blowing through the window decided this was a nice time to take a break.

“she said it was a magic doll,” she continued. “that no matter how sad i became, and believe me, i became very sad, i’d always have him with me. my ethan.”

your gut instincts finally kicked in as you spat out the food that was in your mouth, the gross pile of chewed up beef and potatoes looking oddly blurry to you. jules looked equally as mortified, probably even more since she was the one who brought about the end of the magic doll.

“and she was right; he was magical. and you took him away from me.” she grinned her creepy stepford wife grin once more. jules mumbled something but everything sounded miles away from you as your head swam.

“wha-what is this?” you slurred, the bright colors of the table morphing into one another.

“this is a drug overdose, y/n.” he chuckled when you sluggishly turned your head towards him. “i know, i know, i fibbed about lettin’ you live, but see, you had a veritable pharmacy in that bag of yours. you two just munched down enough pills to put a bull to bed,” his voice muffled into indiscernible nonsense, though you knew he was still speaking.

“f-fuck you,” jules managed, still keeping her head up. you, on the other hand, were slumped over, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness.

george got up from his seat, pulling your head up by your hair. “not so tough now, are ya’?” he jested.

jules muttered something in your defense, but as soon as your head dropped, you were down for the count; just missing the hopeful ring of the doorbell, possibly signaling you might live to see another day.

******************************

i should probably put a link to previous parts at the top but i have no clue how to do that lol

tags: @emmyrosee @flowers-in-your-hayr @willyourecognisemee @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass

#jules #jules x reader #jules oneshot #jules imagine #jules fanfiction #jules fanfic #jules fic #jules villains #villains #villains 2019 #maika monroe #maika monroe character #my writing

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obaewankenope · 4 years ago

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Stegosawns and Time - Good Omens, Absconding with Harry verse ficlet

@murderandjam asked for me to write something with dinosaurs involved so, like a champ, I’ve done my best. Hope they, and ya’ll, like it.

//.//

Harry doesn’t particular care about dinosaurs, not really, but he’s a thirteen-year-old boy and dinosaurs are sort of A Thing for thirteen-year-old boys to be interested in. Well, according to Miss Hale, who runs the local corner shop with her husband of thirty-five years, at least.[1]

So, of course, Harry has to at least be interested in dinosaurs otherwise Miss Hale will make comments about his Uncle’s and Harry will want to cause a bit—a lot—of chaos in her shop, even though she’s very nice to him and only makes snide comments on Tuesdays.[2] It’s less because Harry wants to impress Miss Hale with his dinosaur knowledge and more that he wants to have information he can utilise against someone who seems to like making Comments about his Uncle’s lifestyles.

Harry is well-aware that he can be a petty child, but he does limit his pettiness to people who deserve a bit of Petty Childishness thrown in their overly opinionated faces. Thus, it follows that Harry learns the basic facts about dinosaurs, recites a couple to Miss Hale, adds a few titbits about the quantity of homosexual relationships in the animal kingdom and how there were probably queer dinosaurs—enjoying immensely the way Miss Hale’s smile freezes on her face at that—and that, if Harry were to choose a dinosaur to be, he’d choose a Psittacosaurus because “it looks really cute but I bet it can do a predator a whole lot of harm with those little tusks”.

Oddly enough, Miss Hale hasn’t asked if Harry is interested in things anymore and doesn’t seem interested in suggesting research topics for Harry to try and make a hobby out of.

Strange that.

[Keep Reading on AO3]

But, when Jurassic Park is released in the UK on 16th July 1993, the interest Harry has in dinosaurs reaches a more expected level for a thirteen-year-old boy to possess; basically, he becomes obsessed with dinosaurs that eat people.

Though, not quite in the way Miss Hale probably ever expected Harry to be interested in carnivores. Apparently, spending thirty-minutes ranting about dinosaurs being denied access to enrichment like zoo animals ought to have is not the “correct” response on the forum dedicated to All Things Jurassic Park.

When someone tells him to “read the book, dumbass” Harry has to log off and go for a fly on his broom. Cursing someone who lives on the other side of the planet for being obtuse and all-round rude isn’t something he should do; even if he really wants to.

The pulava dies down after a few weeks of Harry reading everything he can find about dinosaurs in the bookshop—strangely, Uncle ‘Zira’s collection on dinosaurs and palaeontology is quite limited—and the library, Harry heads back to Hogwarts with Hermione and Ron ending up being unwitting victims of his diatribes.

Well, Ron is an unwitting victim. Hermione looks like Christmas has come early and she doesn’t even celebrate Christmas except at Hogwarts.

“I know!” Hermione exclaims, nodding vigorously at what Harry’s saying on the topic of how dinosaur DNA just couldn’t survive that long without totally degrading. “It’s really obvious if you think about it, even my parents said the same and they’re dental hygienists, but the boys who live by my house ignored me when I told them.”

“Idiots,” Harry replies and Hermione smiles at him. “Frog DNA is really picky as well, like, you definitely have to be careful with it; not just randomly add it to some ancient DNA and expect everything to be all hunky-dory! How do people not realise this?”

Harry shakes his head. “I know it’s fiction and Hollywood magic,” he continues, “but really, it’s a stupid plot to have such awful mad science stuff.”

“The book is much better than the film,” Hermione says and Harry nods. “Though, I do like the actors and—if I ignore the inaccuracies and deviations from the book—it’s not an awful film. I just prefer the book.”

“Same.” Harry pauses.

“The T-Rex scenes were pretty great though, weren’t they?” he asks and Hermione nods.

“Oh Morgana, yes!” Hermione agrees, grinning. “I really enjoyed the car chase.”

“Me too!”

“Also, that nasty lawyer—”

“—oh yeah! He totally got what he deserved!”

Ron, throughout this entire rant and later gush-fest regarding Jurassic Park and dinosaurs, is silent until he finally can’t take it anymore; judging by the way he all-but bellows at Harry and Hermione.

“What the bloody hell is a dinosaur?”

It’s probably The Worst question Ron could have asked but Ron obviously has no idea what Harry and Hermione are going on about; and Ron has never liked not knowing what’s going on. That’s probably because he grew up with six brothers and a little sister and had to deal with so much happening that he didn’t have a clue about. Being out of the loop is something Ron doesn’t handle very well when it comes to his friends and that means Harry and Hermione have an Obligation to educate Ron on the subject of dinosaurs.

He’s probably going to regret asking, Harry thinks, but at least he’ll know something other purebloods won’t.[3]

By the time the train arrives at Hogsmeade, Ron has a basic understanding of what dinosaurs are; ancient lizards that enjoyed being ancient lizards eating things and being eaten. Mentioning Jurassic Park during the Education of Ron sends them off on a digression that sees Ron being very, very confused by DNA, genetics, theme parks, and corporate environments. This drives Hermione to promise to borrow Ron her copy of the book, citing that it’s much more in-depth than what Harry and Hermione have told him, and to write a list of things that he doesn’t understand when reading so she and Harry can help him understand just why theme park monsters are Bad.

Dinosaur-related learning falls to the wayside as term starts and things Happen throughout the year, but Harry still finds the chance to ask various purebloods about the topic; feeling very vindicated every time a pureblood looks at him like he’s a madman—which, to be fair, he is—or throws a bit of a wobbler at the prospect that muggles know something a pureblood doesn’t.

When Harry asks a Slytherin who is somewhat amiable to students in other houses, he’s surprised when they actually do know about dinosaurs; right up until he realises that they’re a half-blood and hiding the fact. That Slytherin turns out to be pretty delightful and Harry makes no comment on the fact that they use terms that only muggles use. He’s never known a single pureblood Slytherin to use the word thermos when referring to their coffee cup and he just knows they picked that up from muggles.[4]

Unfortunately, Harry doesn’t find out until later that Hermione wisely went and asked the Ravenclaw purebloods about dinosaurs and discovered a whole host of them knew at least something about them and palaeontology too. In the end, Harry loses the bet with Hermione and ends up knitting a whole load of hats for the House Elves—which are used as hats for the teapots rather than the Elves themselves, much to Hermione’s mild annoyance—which isn’t so bad and he at least learns a knew skill in the process.

Throughout all of this, the two come to a sort of unanimous decision that Hogwarts needs better education on non-magical things. Even if witches and wizards might not ever really need to know the names of carnivorous dinosaurs, it’s still useful to know stuff that muggles do so they can better blend in when they’re older.

The fact that it will also reduce the division between magical and non-magical is something neither quite realise until they’re much, much older.[5]

Arranging a sort of study group with students from all the years to get them to learn about things Not Related To Magic is less of a challenge than either of them realise; especially when Ron snorts and tells them to make out the whole thing is “too good for those stuck-up purebloods”. Spite and pride, it turns out, are really good motivators for learning things just to Prove You Can.

Even the Slytherin’s show up.

That leaves Harry and Hermione, and several other muggleborns and half-bloods, with the job of explaining evolution to a bunch of witches and wizards. It sounds like it should be a doddle, but there are certain purebloods that seem intent on making it beyond difficult.

Oddly enough, Malfoy isn’t one of them.

“That doesn’t make any sense, though!” Stephen Cornfoot—a Hufflepuff—says and Harry doesn’t roll his eyes, but it’s a near-thing.

“Environmental changes happen all the time,” Hermione says calmly, though the way her eyelid twitches slightly tells Harry—who’s stood right next to her—that she is definitely not calm. “Physiological adaptation is natural response for a creature. Humans have evolved from previous versions to what we are today, and we’re still evolving. What is there to not understand?”

“A lot, apparently,” Harry mutters under his breath and looks away from the glare Hermione throws at him. “You can change how you act to stuff, right?” He says, raising his voice to be heard by everyone in the room—all forty or so students. “I know a lot of have broken school rules before, and I also know a good number of us have avoided breaking them after the first time we got caught. Or broke the rules better and not got caught. Well, same sort of principle applies to evolution. But it’s a much, much longer scale of time. Instead of us learning to break the rules better and teaching the students after us—or our children, if any of us end up being parents—an animal can evolve over a hundred million years to become a better hunter, or avoid being hunted.”

“Newton Scamander even noted that magical creatures potentially underwent some evolutionary changes in their own history,” Hermione points out, and Cornfoot looks more convinced from that alone which, Harry will admit to himself, is pretty annoying. “You don’t think Kelpies have remained the size they are currently? Or as specifically adapted to marine living?”

Harry knows Hermione’s questions are rhetorical but the way Cornfoot blushes in embarrassment makes him reach out and place a hand on Hermione’s arm. He’s a little concerned she might hex Cornfoot for actually believing Kelpies haven’t evolved.

He’s not certain how he’s supposed to stop her from actually committing murder when Cornfoot—and others—seem to not believe in evolution as though they’re the most resistant of Christians, but Harry figures that so long as Hermione doesn’t do it in public and doesn’t get caught then it’s not something he needs to really worry about.

Probably.

They split the students up into groups that each of the volunteer muggleborns and half-bloods who are willing to Educate The Noble Purebloods About Basic Things take. Whilst this enables Harry to keep Hermione away from Cornfoot and his very strangle-able throat, it however, leaves Harry with Malfoy to deal with.

The things Harry does for his friends.

Uncle’s Crowley and Aziraphale show up about an hour into the Educating of Purebloods and, unfortunately, derail the entire thing with a very casual comment regarding the veracity of palaeontology.

“You’re telling them about dinosaurs?” Uncle Crowley asks and snorts. “Dinosaurs aren’t real.”

“Of course they are!” Hermione says in the sudden silence Harry’s uncle’s words have caused. “There’s over a century of detailed records and expeditions to look for new fossils. How can you even say otherwise?”

“Because they’re a big ol’ prank,” Uncle Crowley answers. “She made them that way.”

“She?” A Ravenclaw asks from Dean’s group.

“You know, God.” Harry’s uncle looks very unhappy to be explaining this but since he started it, Harry doesn’t feel the slightest bit sorry for him. “Thought it was a right laugh, I’m sure.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going- you know what? Fine, fine,” Hermione rambles and she looks a little frazzled; the way she does sometimes when Ginny’s friend, Luna mentions some creature from the Quibbler. “Have you any proof of this claim?” She asks in a measured tone.

Harry has a feeling that this discussion is going to get Nasty.

“Well, my memory, I guess,” Uncle Crowley says and points at Uncle ‘Zira. “And his.”

“You’re memory,” Hermione says flatly.

“Yep!”

“The Earth hasn’t existed long enough for dinosaurs to exist, anyway!” Uncle Crowley exclaims and Harry’s sure Hermione’s eyelid just twitched. “Only been around for six-thousand-years!”

“I see.” Hermione, if anything, manages to sound even flatter than she did before. “Right, that’s what you believe. Nice to know. But actual scientific research tells us the Earth is actually four-point-five billion years old, not six-thousand. And,” she continues, “dinosaurs lived as recently as sixty-six million years ago and as far two-hundred-and-forty-five million years ago. That’s based on intense, rigorous scientific experiments which are much more reliable than a heavily revised book written and re-written over the last two-thousand years.”

Harry doesn’t leave the room but he sure wants to. Judging by the expressions on a lot of the students in the room, they want to flee too.

“That’s part of the joke,” Uncle Crowley explains with a smirk. “Thought was right funny, She did. Bit unfair of Her, really, expecting you lot to ever figure out She punked you all with dinosaurs but—” he shrugs “—not a surprise, really. She’s like that.”

“Well, how do you know God made them as a prank?”

Harry looks across the room, eyebrows raised in surprise because that’s Malfoy.

“Huh?” Uncle Crowley looks at the Slytherin with raised eyebrows himself. “Whadya mean?”

“Well, if your memory is what you’re going on, then did you have a conversation with God about dinosaurs and time and all that other stuff Potter and Granger have been going on about?” Malfoy elaborates. “Did you actually ask… Her if dinosaurs are a joke or did you just assume based on something you thought you know?”

Harry has never seen Uncle Crowley look so very stumped about something and, although it’s probably a little—a lot—bad of him, he really enjoys the sight of it. Judging by the way he seems to be smiling a little at Uncle Crowley’s expression, Uncle ‘Zira enjoys it too.[6]

“Well, obviously not,” Uncle Crowley says. “I learnt it the hard way that asking Her stuff ends painfully. Just figured it was a joke because this dustball hasn’t existed that long.”

The amusement on Uncle ‘Zira’s face disappears. Uncle Crowley’s State of Affairs isn’t something Harry asks questions about but he can tell it’s not the greatest thing, bringing up their statuses as angel and demon.

“But how do you know Earth hasn’t?” Malfoy presses and Harry’s actually sort of impressed. Malfoy has been strangely strange the past year or so. He’s still a twit and a bigot, but he’s better than he was in the first year, for sure.

“We were there when She made it.”

Malfoy rolls his eyes. “And when did She make it? What date, exactly? What existed before She made Earth?”

“Six-thousand years ago, I’ve said this kid,” Uncle Crowley replies. “Four-thousand-and-four-BC. She made it after Heaven and Hell got set up. It was Her big thing. Caused a lot of ruckus up in Heaven when She announced it.”

“Wasn’t Hell created when angels fell, though?” Terry Boot asks, frowning. “I’ve read the Bible and the Torah and Qur’an. I’m pretty sure Hell came after the Earth was made.”

Uncle Crowley waves a hand. “Semantics, really,” he says, “time wasn’t a thing before Earth got shoved into being so Heaven and Hell both existed before and after this little dustball and solar system got set up.”

“If time ‘wasn’t a thing’,” Malfoy says, smirking in that smug way the Slytherin does that makes Harry want to hex him. “Then how do you really know how old the Earth is, or dinosaurs, when you’ve literally just said time didn’t exist before the Earth was made? I mean, what if God was making it for a long time before She just made it real? Like when performing alchemy; we don’t just make gold straight away; we build up to it.”

“No, no, no, that’s not what I said,” Uncle Crowley snaps and he looks annoyed now. Harry thinks it’s pretty amusing that he looks annoyed because he definitely said that.

“That is what you said, actually,” Hermione says and honestly, the fact that she’s siding with Malfoy really says it all. Uncle Crowley has lost this argument and should probably just concede now. “The only way your argument could be valid would be if time existed before Earth did and Hell after and only after. Since you’ve said that isn’t the case, then it can be assumed that time has been applied retrospectively and that means that, technically, dinosaurs did live between two-hundred-and-forty-five and sixty-six million years ago because time is a measurement used to determine change.”

The room is silent because Uncle Crowley isn’t responding to Malfoy or Hermione and Uncle ‘Zira has been content to stand back and let Uncle Crowley do the talking. Harry is content to just Not Get Involved.

“Maybe the joke isn’t for humanity, maybe it’s for you,” Luna Lovegood says into the silence. She sounds like she usually does; like she’s more interested in Other Things that other people know nothing about. She reminds him of his Uncle’s sometimes, the way she just zones out and seems to be listening to something Harry can’t hear. Right now, however, Luna doesn’t remind him of his Uncle’s; he doesn’t know what she reminds him of, only that it’s something Big and Important and Beyond Him. “Or perhaps it’s a test.”

Harry would like for this whole conversation to end now please because the whole afternoon is getting away from them and he really did want to go flying on his broom before it got too dark to see in front of his face. Unfortunately, like most things lately, that plan is now in shambles and he’s stuck in this sort of painful situation of watching his Uncle’s quietly—or not so quietly, in Uncle Crowley’s case—question everything they thought they knew.

Existential crises happen even to celestial beings, apparently.

“Who cares!” Ginny’s voice echoes around the room, loud and a little startling. The room at large sort of looks at her; she’s doesn’t appear to be bothered by that. “I want to know about these Stegosawns, Hermione mentioned; they sound wicked.”

That—Harry notes—breaks whatever strange tension has been steadily filling the room since his Uncle’s entered and the students start to mutter amongst themselves; obviously they agree with Ginny and would really like this conversation to end now, there’s way more interesting things to learn about, thanks.

Harry is all too happy to oblige.

“Stegosaurs, or Stegosaurus,” he corrects, giving Ginny a smile, “were herbivores that had armour-plating on their back and spikes on their tails. Definitely not something a predator wanted to fight if they were weak or injured. They probably weighed as much as a dragon and were probably as big, depending on the breed of dragon.”

“Woah, wicked,” Fred or George say and there’s a general murmur of agreement amongst the students. “Imagine running into one of those when out for a walk.”

“I think I’d prefer the dragon, actually,” a fourth-year Ravenclaw remarks to a smatter of laughter.

Harry sees his Uncle’s slink out of the room—well, Uncle Crowley slinks, Uncle ‘Zira just walks—and resolves to visit them later tonight. He thinks they might appreciate him there to distract them from whatever Thoughts Malfoy and Hermione have given them about their purpose and stuff. Gods know, Harry would appreciate the distraction if he were in their place.

But, for now, he has dinosaurs to talk about with some purebloods who seem much more enthusiastic about learning about giant lizards the size of dragons. He wonders how they’ll react to the Brontosaurus; it should be entertaining, at least.[7]

[1] To understand the expectation people, have for teenage boys to be interested in dinosaurs, you have to consider the fact that dinosaurs are viewed as something of a Violent and Bloody Topic fit only for Boys and Men. Why? Because society loves to treat girls like their only worth is to be found in looking pretty but being stupid and vapid. A girl with a personality or a brain must in want of a husband who can put her back into society’s True Woman Mold. Harry, thanks to his Uncle’s, isn’t in the slightest bit impressed with this tripe and, as such, takes great delight in learning about things Boys Shouldn’t Be Interested In as well as pushing Hermione and Ron’s sister, Ginny, to learn things Girls Shouldn’t Be Interested In. It’s very entertaining as well as educational.

[2] Why Tuesdays is anyone’s guess really, but it does serve to ensure that Harry knows what day of the week it is if he ever spontaneously forgets that Tuesdays exist.

[3] Harry places a bet with Hermione—ignoring her huffy comment about how she doesn’t “bet” even as she places said bet—that not a single pureblood at Hogwarts will know anything about dinosaurs. Hermione thinks Harry’s assumption regarding pureblood education simply must be wrong since there are magical creatures that could be living dinosaurs considering how old they are.

[4] The fact that Harry is only right about the Slytherin—Arnold Renard—being a half-blood rather than a pureblood is less because Harry possesses excellent deductive reasoning skills and more to do with the fact that he’s rather good at just guessing stuff about people. If he ever sat down and really thought about how he knows this stuff, Harry would discover that he actually does have good deductive reasoning skills but a rather poor working memory when it comes to recognising such deductions consciously.

[5] The realisation that they can quite literally affect the entirety of the British Wizarding World by talking about dinosaurs, science, astronomy, heck, even yoga is something of a revelation for the two. The long-term impact on pureblood rhetoric is most apparent by the next generation of magical children; and the impact is wonderful.

[6] Aziraphale enjoys the sight of Crowley looking so stumped but the actual topic of conversation is one that will bother Aziraphale for a long time to come. The idea that they don’t know exactly what She has planned. The idea that a child can ask such a question and reveal that they, angels and demons, are assuming so much; it’s terrifying because it means they could be wrong. Being wrong sounds like a dangerous thing to be when one is an angel, afterall.

[7] It is.

#Good Omens #GOmens #Harry Potter #Absconding with Harry verse #Dinosaurs #Jurassic Park references #Listen if I can't give some existential crises to Crowley and Aziraphale #Then what's the point?#Lol

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mediaeval-muse · 4 years ago

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Book Review

Paladin’s Grace. By T. Kingfisher. Dallas: Argyll, 2020.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: romantic fantasy

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Stephen's god died on the longest day of the year… Three years later, Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now the pair must navigate a web of treachery, beset on all sides by spies and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind…

***Full review under the cut.***

Trigger/Content Warnings: sexual content, violence

Overview: I think I came across this book while browsing Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, but I don’t remember for sure. Regardless, I decided to pick it up because the story of a paladin whose god has died intrigued me. I’m a sucker for stories about crises of faith, and I was in the mood for a fun adventure with a little angst thrown in. While the premise was very much my jam, the prose style ultimately prevented me from connecting with this book. In my opinion, it felt like the book was aimed at readers with arrested emotional development: everything felt sanitized for a younger audience (as in, there was a lot of awkward, quirky humor while nothing felt particularly threatening) yet there were also graphic sexual scenes, reminding me of a lot of New Adult stereotypes. It prevented the story from delving deep into things like what a crisis of faith might look like and how someone might navigate it, and undercut the thrill of the political intrigue. As a result, I personally couldn’t give this book a higher rating.

Writing: Kingfisher’s prose is fairly simple - simple sentences, simple images, etc. It’s pretty easy to get through, and readers can skim, if that’s what they’re into. It’s also full of “quirky humor” so that the mood is fairly light throughout. While sometimes the humor would get a chuckle from me, most of the time, it completely destroyed the mood. The best way I can think to describe it is that it resembles a lot of stereotypes I associate with New Adult fantasy books: the book feels like it’s written for younger readers, but the sexual humor/graphic sex scenes prove otherwise. Characters will make childish jokes, despite most of them being in their 30s (for example, “I wonder if you can stab someone with an ice sculpture”), or stumble over their words in what seems like an attempt to make them seem awkward (”I... um...” or “I... er... what?”). Things like “Gnnnrggzzz” and “Ohmyfuckingshitfuckshitgaaaaaaah” are written out, further making me feel like I was reading something meant to make younger readers smile. Characters rarely act their age and situations were rarely treated with the level of seriousness one would expect in reality. I personally wasn’t a fan; it made the book (and characters) feel somewhat juvenile. To be clear, I’m not against a little humor - I think humor could have been used effectively in this book, perhaps to show how Grace is a bright spot in Stephen’s otherwise gloomy life. I’m also not against light, “fluffy” romances, but I do think there’s a difference between fluff and a lack of emotional maturity.

Kingfisher also had a tendency to repeat certain things, which became irritating. Every other page, it seemed like Grace said something about how Stephen smelled like gingerbread, and it got old really fast. I also noticed that constructions like “He’s a paladin, so he...” and the like were used frequently, which did less to show me what Stephen was like and more to tell me what stereotypes are associated with paladins.

Plot: This book mainly follows Stephen and Grace as they become entangled in two main problems: 1. there is a serial killer on the loose, and his modus operandi is leaving behind severed heads, sans bodies; 2. there is a mysterious assassination plot aimed at the Crown Prince of a neighboring kingdom. To be honest, I found the serial killer plot underwhelming. It only seemed to be present to give Stephen an excuse to escort Grace places, and even when we found out who the killer was, I didn’t feel the rush of excitement or a sense of closure. I think perhaps this was because the serial killer plot wasn’t one that readers could try to piece together with the characters - at most, there was a single clue, and then it was solved (but readers can’t even predict the twist, so I didn’t feel any sense of suspense).

As for the assassination plot, I also found it underwhelming. Although it builds better than the serial killer plot, characters started acting in nonsensical - and even idiodic - ways once Grace was personally caught up the drama. I got the sense that characters were acting out of emotion and not reason, which is ok sometimes, but not ALL THE TIME. In general, I didn’t find that this assassination plot was clever, and there wasn’t much that differentiated it from other political intrigues that I’ve read in some YA fantasy.

Characters: Stephen, our hero, is paladin who previously served a warrior god, the Saint of Steel. At the beginning of the book, Stephen’s god dies (we don’t know how), and three years later, he is still struggling to find his purpose. At first, I thought I would like Stephen. He seemed like a gentleman, and he had some non-stereotypical hobbies, like knitting. I also liked that much of his personal turmoil involved some anxiety over how people would perceive him and his Order. The fear that he would succumb to a berserker rage, in particular, was an interesting bit of lore, and I thought this berserker rage could have been used to prompt further exploration of things like violence and hypermasculinity. However, as the book continued, Stephen became more and more bland. For the first half or two-thirds of the book, he resembles a 14 year old’s idea of a safe love interest in that he was perfectly chivalrous and without serious flaws. As time went on and he became more infatuated with Grace, he started getting somewhat possessive. Any man who so much as looked at grace would be subject to murderous fantasies, and while this was probably meant to show that Stephen was jealous and therefore devoted to Grace, I found it ridiculous and childish.

Grace, our heroine, is also rather bland. She’s a perfumer, which itself could have been fun, but her personality is mainly defined by her awkwardness. She also resembles a lot of YA/New Adult heroines in that she insists that she’s not attractive and that no man could be interested in her, despite at least two male characters flirting with her. It was frustrating being in her head, at times, because she would constantly say things like “normal people don’t do this,” making her seem even more awkward and “not like other people.” Her insistence on her mousiness and rather bland characterization made me wonder why anyone was in love with her at all. She moreover didn’t seem to be at qualified to handle the serial killer or assassination mysteries - in fact, I don’t think she ever uses her unique skillset (identifying scents) to help solve either mystery at all.

Marguerite, Grace’s best friend, is a bit more interesting in that she’s a spy with mysterious motivations. Marguerite is better equipped to deal with the assassination plot, as she has various contacts that feed her information and let her into places people wouldn’t normally be able to access. I liked that Marguerite was a good friend to Grace, but she, too, was a bit emotionally stunted.

Other supporting characters were interesting on paper, but because of the writing style, didn’t seem to be as compelling as they could have been. I liked Zale, the gender-neutral (or nonbinary? agender?) lawyer-priest who seemed committed to their calling to defend the helpless in court. Stephen’s fellow paladins also seemed like a supportive group of friends, and the Bishop of the White Rat was an admirable woman of force and personality. I would have liked to see more of them.

Other:

Worldbuilding: This book doesn’t have a lot of heavy worldbuilding, and it honestly didn’t need it. I appreciated the fact that I wasn’t overwhelmed with lore or facts about the kingdom - Kingfisher mostly stuck to what details were important to the plot, and for that, I was grateful.

Romance: Stephen and Grace’s romance was a little lackluster for my tastes. The main barrier to them being together stemmed from Stephen thinking he was too broken and that he might accidentally hurt her by going into a berserker rage (which... how does that still happen if his god is dead?), and Grace thinking that she is so bad at being a lover that it turns men off. Honestly, I don’t find the “I’m so broken and dangerous” angle to be very compelling. I prefer there to be other barriers to characters being together than just emotions - barriers that force some kind of character development and plot progression. In this case, Stephen and Grace don’t seem to grow much. They just get over their reservations, in part because they thought they were going to die at one point.

There were also minor scenes that made me uncomfortable. I love romance stories and don’t mind sex scenes (when they’re warranted, not when they’re gratuitous), but I hate scenes where one person has to avoid detection (by some king of city guard or something), so the other person covers them with their body and they pretend to be a person and prostitute (or something), miming sex to make it seem like they saw nothing. I just find it awkward, not funny or the basis for mutual attraction. The fact that Stephen and Grace meet this way made it all the more awkward for me to read. I guess that was the point, since Grace is a little awkward herself, but I still hate these types of scenes.

I also personally dislike when male characters are described as noticing or thinking about a female character’s bosom. Like, I get it - straight men like breasts. But I don’t want the basis of a relationship to be physical attraction. Do something else. Though I didn’t get the impression that Stephen was a creep, I didn’t like how often the author would mention that Stephen noticed Grace’s body. Grace’s breasts were mentioned a number of times, and it made me uncomfortable every time.

Overall, I felt let down by this book. While I was drawn in by the premise of a crisis of faith and a thrilling web of lies and secrecy, I was met with a formulaic romance that relied on awkwardness to make emotionally arrested characters seem relatable.

#book reviews

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theartfuldodger26 · 5 years ago

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Fandom ask

Thank you, @bellamort1993 for sending me Harry Potter, Bellamort and Bellatrix as prompts. Feel free to do the same (or different to your choosing).

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort. No, I don’t have one favourite. Bella is the closest to my heart, but apparently I waste the most brainmatter on Tom/Voldemort, so *shrugs* Harry is my favourite light character, he’s an admirable person.

Least Favorite character: Umbridge, as is universally accepted.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Bellamort (which is canon, bitches) Delphi/Harry (it will become canon, you just wait for TCC part3) Tomarry but not Harrymort(nearly counts as canon judging by how often Harry comments on Tom’s looks) Drarry Delphi/Victoire

Character I find most attractive: Bellatrix, hands down. Then Voldemort can do things to me too, but Bella would be my first choice.

Character I would marry: No one, I’m happy by myself. Delphi can be my angsty fuck buddy with whom we meet every once in a while, bitch, get drunk, cry and fuck.

Character I would be best friends with: Harry, tho I’m not the best of friends and his friends do have a high mortality rate for my taste. I wouldn’t mind if Voldemort killed me tho, so *shrugs*

a random thought: The wizarding world makes zero sense in so many places. They haven’t had an Industrial Revolution and they seem to be stuck in the Middle Ages in many ways, even if they dont seem extremely Christian as these times actually were. It’s really confusing. As for their economy? How does that even work if you can conjure a chair out of thin air, or replicate food?

An unpopular opinion: Idk what’s unpopular these days. Aside from Albus’ name, I actually liked the Epilogue. In contrast to what people thing, it doesn;t show *everything* that happened after the war, meaning it’s no obliged to show the PTSD and the fights and the pain. It just passes the message: depsite everything, in the end they were happy. Not always and not easily, but they lived, and built and did good. And that’s not always possible with survivors. It’s our job as fans to add the rest, all the author needed to do was say ‘yes, they made it out okay.”

My Canon OTP: BELLAMORT Seriously, I have screenshoted the details of TCC where it shows they’re canon.

My Non-canon OTP: Harry/Delphi

Most Badass Character: Bellatrix, handsdown. McGonagall out of the good people.

Most Epic Villain: Voldemort, we’d have no books without him. He can be dumb, but it’s cute.

Pairing I am not a fan of: I’m not huge in non-canon Hermione ships, and anything with Snape is gross.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): ...Snape? Not his character, but the light she gave him by naming Harry’s kid after him. It appeared she was clear on him not being an admirable person, but then he’s the bravest bloke ever? No, ma’am.

Favourite Friendship: The Golden Trio, they work as a three-man-group better, I won’t devide them.

Character I most identify with: PostAzkaban!Bellatrix feels she’s letting her master and herself down, and so do it. I keep looking for my former self. Who wasn’t much after all, but had some qualities I should recultivate.

Character I wish I could be: ... I’d like to have some Bellamort qualities that I lack, but in general I’m fine working on myself.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: After I finished the books, so that’s since 2007, 13 cool, angsty years.

My thoughts: I love them, they’re my evil babies. In fact, I don’t even have reasons for loving them, as most shippers do, I’d just die for them.

What makes me happy about them: That theyre complicately made for each other in their unique goth way. And that in the end they had a kid, which I think helped Voldemort out a lot with his issues with intimacy and emotions.

What makes me sad about them: That they died *sobs hysterically*. Also that they’re proud idiots who don’t communicate well. Also in the books they have like two scenes together. (HE SCREAMED THO)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Seeing Bella’s character butchered down to a snivelling, slavish idiot, though these aren’t Bellamort fics usually. In Bellamort fics, it feels like a cheat when it says Bellamort but it’s just Bella pining and Voldemort really not caring. I don’t have a problem with the POV, but it needs to be tagged as unrequited. Otherwise I’m open to perspectives.

Things I look for in fanfic: Good writing, mostly. I’m also a huge fan of Muggle!AU’s, so if you have that, I’ll read it, no questions asked XD

My wishlist: On Amazon? :P I presume this means wishlist on fics/art with these two, but do correct me if I’m wrong. I dont have one, since I write myself, so whatever I want to read, I write. Right now I’m on a bit of a writing hiatus (but don’t take my word for it, my emotional world is fucking rollercoaster), but at some point I’d like to see a mermaid!AU and a lot of exploration between Voldemort and his mother, while Bella holds his hand.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Alone and miserable. I guess Bella would have been okay with Rodolphus, had Tom/Voldemort never been born. And Voldemort/Tom would have been fine too with some nameless pretty woman he did not love but had to marry to keep face. But I think that they would have never been truly happy with anyone else. especially Tom, he’d never be really comfortable with anyone.

My happily ever after for them: VoldemortWins!AU, they conquer Europe, Bella is Minister for War, Voldemort the Emperor. Maybe they have a kid, maybe a couple more or none at all, who cares, the point is they live and fulfull their dreams of revolutionising the Wizarding Wolrd. I also have a sappy afterlife!AU where for a while Bella is imprisoned at the family castle for having a halfblood little bastard, goes half-insane, as Voldemort searches for her (they had a spat right after they got there), and Delphi kills herself and goes to find her dad in small-child form. They finally get tgether and live death happily ever after in some Norwegian fjord in the frozen tundra. (it’s also my personal happy ending, only it’s cats and snakes)

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: I love Bella. She’s a bitch and a sadist, but I love her.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: The one and only, his majesty the Dark Lord himself.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Rodolphus, he’s her only friend. Also, sad HC: Bella was very close to Andromeda until she got too involved with Voldemort and his cause, and they drifted apart. No one wept harder than Bella after Andy left, and it was her who spent days banging on the Tonks’ door to let them speak to her. Voldy could squeeze tears out of his shirt after she fell asleep crying about it.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again, not sure about unpopular. I believe she suffers from genuine mental illness that tortures her a lot and makes her life (and her shared life with Voldemort too) very hard. Also I find her more self-doubting and reserved than most authors, hard working and largely indifferent to people who aren’t Voldemort.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Actual romantic scene would have been nice, but HE SCREAMED after all. Let’s not ask for too much.

Favorite friendship for this character: Rodolphus and Andromeda. Recently I’ve started Brotp-ing Sirius with Bella too, before they parted ways.

My crossover ship: I don’t really have any other fandoms, but I have been exploring the world of the Witcher as of late, so I’d love a showdown between Bella and Yen. It’d be so hot.

Well, this was fun! Thanks, @bellamort1993 for sending the ask. I have this feeling that I’ve replied to this before, but for some reason it’s still in my drafts, so I’m posting it. If you’ve seen it before, I apologise for bothering you...

#ask meme #ship meme #bellamort1993 #bellamort #bellatrix lestrange #voldemort #hp #hp headcanons

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diyunho · 5 years ago

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The Joker x Reader - “Ghost” Part 2

Bane’s wife is a mystery to everyone, including her husband. Ghost also happens to be The Joker’s little obsession, not that she ever pays attention to him. Maybe that’s why The King of Gotham should stop messing around: when you push too much, you might get more than you bargained for.

The Joker and his girlfriend left about 15 minutes ago; Kara was in a bad shape and you offered to drive her car back tomorrow. You have no idea how she made it to your house after the events at the club. You could tell J was fuming and for once he seemed to care about what happened to his woman: maybe it was a little wakeup call The King of Gotham needed. Hard to tell when it comes to these matters due to his spectacular personality.

One thing’s for sure though: after his arrival Kara couldn’t stop crying and Ghost knew why. The Joker’s girlfriend merely escaped assault and him giving a damn about the ordeal made her overemotional: it was the first time he showed some real interest outside the bedroom; he held her hand all the way to the car and didn’t even mind a kiss before she got in.

“You’re awfully quiet,” your husband points out. “You’ve been staring out the windows at the empty parking lot since they left. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah…I’m fine,” you turn only to see him signal for you.

Bane is not stupid; he can tell you’re distracted and he can guess the reason. As soon as you straddle his lap he rests his forehead on yours, choosing to dig a bit dipper without sugar coating his objective.

“Are you thinking about that day?”

You take such a strenuous breath there’s no need for a verbal confirmation.

“Wanna talk about it?”

You are aware of the meaning: your spouse is not asking for details, he’s just bringing it up in case you want to share your feelings regarding Kara’s unfortunate experience.

You caress his bald head and sigh, prepared to describe the facts.

Bane never mentioned anything about the first time you’ve met simply because he always assumed he understood what he saw five years ago. The truth is he didn’t.

“When…when you found me…” you gulp and he distinguishes the struggle.

“Hey,” your husband whispers. “That’s not why I brought it up. You don’t have to re-live the past; I was trying to hint that if you want to discuss…”

He twists a strand of your white hair around his finger while you interrupt:

“When you found me behind the truck, that guy wasn’t trying to rape me; he was trying to kill me.”

Bane’s not wearing his mask and you can read the conflicting emotions written all over his face.

“Vee was my ex,” you continue and pause in order to gather your thoughts. “When I learned he was involved in human trafficking, I urged him to quit. The money was great and he refused so I planned to disappear and help some girls flee in the process. I was very careful yet he still perceived my intentions and when you bumped into us… he was trying to finish me so I won’t be any trouble for his boss and their line of business.”

“Shit…” HB mumbles, hating that his Ghost looks upset.

“I wasn’t defending myself from a rapist, I was fighting for my life. What do you think about that, hm?” you throw the question at him and his reply doesn’t fail:

“That whatever- his-name-was-your-ex had it coming. You can’t kill a Goddess! A man is lucky enough to encounter one and if he fucks up, then he signs up for the bitter consequences.”

A few moments of complete silence, then Bane hears his favorite words:

“I love you,” Y/N pecks the thin scars across his nose and decides to turn the gloomy night into a more accommodating situation. “We were having lots of fun when the unexpected guest barged in; we should stick to the original schedule and reprise our activity.”

“Agree,” Bane squeezes you in his strong arms tighter. “A tiny Ghost might be already in here,” he softly rubs your tummy.

“Or a handsome little brute,” you giggle and he has to underline:

“However, it doesn’t hurt to keep practicing.”

“U-hum,” you wink and he likes the smile forming on your lips, infinitely better than having his wife distressed about an incident that almost ended her existence.

*************

5 Years Ago

Bane was done loading the supplies he wanted in his truck, lingering at the spot chosen for that evening’s transaction. It was consistently a random place where everyone that wanted to buy or sell could get together and exchange merchandise; under the radar of course, since the negotiations were less than legal and the individuals present could have easily be enlisted on FBI’s most wanted list.

A lot of turmoil and movement at the campsite, but he still detected a woman’s scream; he carefully listened when it happened again. Bane circled his truck and walked between the vehicles stationed there until his heavy steps abruptly halted: there was a lady trying to get from under a limp body collapsed on top of hers, still holding the rock she used in order to defend herself.

You crawled from under Vee and froze when you noticed Bane glaring at you. Y/N recognized the masked man: he was starting to gain a certain reputation, not that it was his purpose; he only stuck to his agenda and didn’t give a damn about anything else.

Your future spouse believed that one of the imbeciles tried to sample the merchandise and got more than he could chew; he also knew they didn’t like the girls to rebel and the price paid if they did.

That feral look in your eyes reminded him of the same fire that fueled his veins every time he attempted to get out of the accursed Pit; made him take a decision he never regretted: instead of alerting the others and score a nice bonus for cooperation, Bane gave you a choice.

“If you want to survive, come with me.”

You hesitated: was he toying with you before sounding the alarm?! The pile of muscles indifferently distanced from the scene and you got on your feet, stumbling from the aftermath of almost being assassinated by your former boyfriend. Vee was out cold and you dropped the rock by his feet, not bothering to check if he was dead.

You followed Bane to his truck and he gestured for you to hop in the back; it was difficult to fit in between the boxes yet you managed anyway. He covered everything with the tarp and advised while sealing the way out:

“Stay put!”

It was a nerve wracking couple of hours: Bane drove away immediately and you had no clue about what will occur next. Where was he taking you anyway?

**********

He pried the door and Y/N strolled inside when she realized he was keeping it opened for her. “This is a gated, private property; we’re right outside Gotham, north of Willow Creek. You should lay low: by know they must have identified the guy and they might be searching for the responsible party.”

He was thinking you were “one of the girls” and you didn’t correct him.

“I had no clue I’ll find myself in this mess,” you skeptically brought it up. “I should go to my apartment and pack suitcases.”

“Bad idea,” the distorted voice huffed. “You should disappear, it’s safer. Those are not the type of people you want to cross!”

You nervously played with the hem of your torn dress and Bane added:

“There are clean clothes in the bedroom; you can use one of my t-shirts. I’ll bring some items your size tomorrow.”

“You’re not staying?!” you inquired, perplexed.

“Nope, I’m busy. Give yourself a tour; I’m positive you can cope with my absence.”

He saw the doubt and muttered:

“You’re not a prisoner; you can leave. Close the gates if you do. If I were you, I would linger on the premises.”

That’s all he said and left a very confused Y/N in the middle of the living room. You wished to ask why he was aiding a total stranger, but you figured it was dumb to do so: Bane seemed like the type of man that didn’t do things unless he felt like it. Period.

You curiously inspected the house, marveled that it was neat and organized: four bedrooms and two bathrooms upstairs, the spacious living room, another bathroom and the kitchen downstairs. The dust settled on the counters indicated the hideout wasn’t used very often; the decorations were minimal, mostly functional, basic furniture.

You were grateful when you opened the fridge and found some food that was still eatable: the precooked kind but you weren’t picky at that point. After warming up a container in the microwave, Y/N took a sit at the table; with the crazy events that spiraled out of control she didn’t have time to reflect about her current predicament.

It hit as you were munching on your ravioli: how the hell did you end up there?! A sudden, unbearable sense of isolation washed all over you, the numbness that protected you from the initial shock gradually dissipating in thin air.

You had no plan. None whatsoever.

Was it better to go with the flow until you could outline a strategy aimed to get you out of the deep whole you accidentally sunk in? Maybe…

So you did.

**************

Next morning, Bane popped at the residence as promised; at 10:12 am he discovered a hyper Y/N tidying up the kitchen: after a sleepless night and six cups of coffee, she was pretty much invincible. You were wearing one of his military print t-shirts: it was big and he was somehow amused to see you swim in the garment.

“I brought you clothes, shoes and food,” Bane grumbled and arranged boxes on the chair closer to you. “I estimated on the size.”

“Thank you,” the sincerity in your voice proved you meant it. “Thank you for helping me.”

“U-hum,” he intensely gazed at you and maybe because you weren’t in your best shape you misinterpreted his demeanor: was your savior expecting some sort of reward? Since you didn’t have much to offer at that time, Bane probably wanted sex as compensation for his services. If he would have taken what he wanted by force, you reckoned it wouldn’t have been pleasant, not with a man his size; not putting up a fight could have made it at least bearable.

Your logic was way off though: as soon as you took your t-shirt off he came near, picked it from the floor and dressed you back himself.

“You don’t have to do that,” he emphasized and saw how embarrassed you were. “Do you know how to load guns?” Bane switched the dialogue without making it awkward.

“Not really…”

“I’ll show you; I have a project coming up and you can assist.”

“OK,” you were fast to accept as it was an easy way to repay him.

“Besides cracking someone’s skull with a rock, do you know how to defend yourself?” the interrogation continued.

”If I have to.”

“Comes in handy,” he muffled the words beyond the mask and promptly took it off so he can enjoy the coffee too.

It was the first time you saw Bane minus the breathing device; definitely not what you imagined: he was good-looking. HB had a few thin scars across his nose and a thicker one above the upper lip that added a certain flair to his wholesomeness.

He caught you staring and misjudged:

“What?” he growled, pouring hot liquid in a mug. “Is the view not up to your standards?”

Y/N has always been a direct person, that’s why she described exactly what was in her mind:

“I was actually thinking that you’re handsome.”

One of Bane’s eyebrows went high and he huffed at the candid remark:

“Hm… … I’ve been called worse.”

You bit on your cheek and waited for him to finish his coffee in silence, but he had more to say.

“You should change your appearance; it’s safer if they’re searching around for the runaway girl that dared retaliate.”

You nodded a yes, wondering how you could accomplish such task. He wasn’t wrong: it would have evidently aided if they were indeed hunting for you.

“I know somebody,” Bane insinuated the path of action. “I can bring Zorina here and she can work her magic; the woman’s a pro.”

“Sure,” you welcomed his proposal and instantly blurred out: “I have money stashed at my apartment; it’s a hefty sum, all cash. I’ll have to retrieve it then I will be able to reimburse you for everything you’re doing for me.”

He snorted, entertained at your passionate tirade:

“Reimbursed!” Bane repeated and slammed the cup on the counter, preparing to bail. “Don’t worry about that; they might have the condo under surveillance or maybe they already raided the rooms and took your money.”

“I hope not…” you frowned, swiftly tense at his warning.

“Wait for Zorina,” the suggestion alleviated your anxiety a bit. “I’ll text her and she can be here in one hour. I am going out of town in the morning; I will return on the 27th,” he grabbed his mask from the table. “If you have an emergency, call the number I uploaded as an emergency contact,” Bane handed you a brand new cell phone.

“Will you be the one answering?” Y/N asked.

“Yes,” he confirmed and noticed how relieved you seemed at his affirmation.

Bane came back after 10 days, on the 27th as scheduled. You were outside on the porch and he stopped in his tracks when you emerged from behind the wood pillars.

“How do I look like?” you presented the new Y/N to the stunned man instead of a conventional greeting: your hair was completely white, shaved on the left side and the fresh skull tattoo inked on the exposed skin completed the ensemble quite beautifully. The dark red eyeshadow and black leather suit scored extra points with your future husband.

Bane was a straightforward person and didn’t utter words unless he meant them, yet the unpredicted reply still made you smile:

“Like a Goddess.”

*************

For the next six months you helped with whatever was necessary: it kept you busy and while you understood everything was a test, you were able to form your own opinions too.

Bane wasn’t a mindless brute: he was intelligent, outspoken and articulate; the crew didn’t question his decisions not necessarily due to his physical appearance that indicated he could level anyone to the ground with one punch, but because they respected him.

You blindly plunged into an unfamiliar environment: in the great scheme of things, your ex Vee has invariably been a pawn struggling to find his way up to the top. Weren’t you the same now? Another small piece of the puzzle trying to figure out where it belongs?

You weren’t positive so you kept your distance from the team members and never really talk to them; Y/N only did what she was told and stayed away from social interactions. After your disappointing past experiences, one could have said you didn’t like people. Why bother?

Even Bane was probably going to send you on your way soon: he kept on coming to the house more often and your best speculation was that he was getting ready to tell you to vacate the property. Which was fair; you couldn’t rely on his hospitality forever. And for some reason it made you sad.

It was true that Bane dropped by more often: from barely visiting the hideout once a month before your arrival, he multiplied his visits to 3-4 times a week. Under the pretext of checking up on his protégé and give her assignments, of course. It had nothing to do with how much he liked seeing your face light up every time he was around.

One night you fell asleep in front of the fireplace: it was cozy to pile up blankets and watch the longs burn until they turned into ashes. You woke up around 2 in the morning and stretched, surprised to see Bane passed out on the couch a couple of feet away. You didn’t hear him sneak in and assumed he had a motive for being there: to finally tell you he wanted the residence evacuated.

You rolled over and got on your knees, carefully placing two more logs on top of the dying fire.

“Add more,” the deep tone made you jump. “It’s getting chilly.”

“Hi,” you tilted your head to look at him. “I didn’t mean to awake you,” you apologized and did as requested.

“You didn’t,” Bane rubbed his eyes, totally used with short power naps instead of dozing off for hours.

You delayed more conversation, but it had to be addressed although you dreaded the subject; maybe he was expecting you to get the hint so you gathered the courage to speak up:

“I was debating… I should…e-hem…” you fakely coughed, “… find a new establishment…”

“Don’t you wanna stay?” he cut you off.

“I do,” you admitted, “but it’s not fair to take advantage of…”

Bane’s laughter at the statement made you halt your small presentation; it was his strategy of disguising how discouraged he was at your arbitrary idea.

“I doubt I’m the type that can be taken advantage of,” he got on his elbow and you abandoned the warmth of the fireplace in order to sit down by him on the sofa. “You don’t have to go anywhere…unless you wish to,” he gave you choices once more.

You glared at each other for a few seconds and then you demanded:

“Can you please take your mask off?”

“Why?”

“I want to kiss you.”

Bane unsnapped the leather straps without a second invitation: God knows he seldom dreamed about it without paying attention to what it truly meant.

Your lips touched and the intimacy made him slowly pull you in his arms; it seemed natural that the woman he was in love with belonged there.

“My name is Y/N,” you suddenly moaned in between kisses and Bane paused, eager to mention:

“For your own safety I suggest to never disclose it to another living soul. It’s better if you don’t exist; a ghost doesn’t have a past or present thus can never be seized.”

“I like the notion of being a Ghost,” you intertwined your fingers with his. “And you have to call me something; the rest of the world also.”

“Sounds like you got yourself a deal,” Bane grinned and instantly cautioned: “I also have to bring up to your attention that I’ve never slept with a Goddess before.”

Your mouth got close to his ear and you whispered:

“I’ve never slept with a Handsome Brute but I believe we’ll manage.”

************

Today, 1:13 am

Your cell phone keeps on vibrating on the nightstand; attempting to ignore the insufferable noise might wake up Bane: you exhausted your husband last night and he has to recharge. You’ll probably need his services by morning time so… might as well make an effort for his sake.

Great, it’s The Joker.

“Hello?” you keep your voice down.

“I was thinking,” the insomniac King of Gotham gets straight to the core of the issue without apologizing for the late call. “Next time Bane’s out of town and you don’t accompany him, I should take you out to dinner; then we can get some stuff out of our system.”

Is he for reals?!

“I have a better proposal!” you hiss, irritated. “Next time Bane’s out of town without me, you’ll take your girlfriend out to dinner and then you can get whatever you want out of your system with her!! I’ll wait for my husband and then when he comes home he’ll know how to take care of my system!! GOT IT??!!” you hang up and J is displeased at your behavior:

“How fucking rude!” he puffs, cuddling next to Kara; she’s snoozing after her misfortune.

“Who’s that?” your spouse groans.

“Uggghh,” you snuggle to his chest, aggravated by J’s crap.

“Idiot…” HB wraps both naked bodies tighter in the fluffy cover since he guessed the name; your reaction is enough clue.

Ghost pecks his shoulder and gradually relaxes, 100% convinced of the only truth in her life: if she ends up with nothing again, as long as he’s there she will still have everything.

Part 1: diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/187322128171/the-joker-x-reader-ghost-part-1